If you recall, I was recently informed that I had 3 cavities. I set my appointment to get them all filled at once. That way there's just one horrible experience associated with stress and pain, instead of multiple visits. I arrived to my appointment and was whisked away to my chair and the tech explained, as she handed me a remote, that I could watch whatever I'd like and to get comfortable. TV? cool! In addition to the stress of dentist drama, I was now having a difficult time deciding what I would watch during this process. I had all the choices of cable, none the less. Nothing I'd really want to see, as I was sure to be distracted; I didn't want to be the cliche chick, tuning in to the "Wedding Story," and nothing I could watch at home. "Dirty Jobs" was the winner. I've only seen a couple episodes and it's one of those shows that makes me want to get cable. I watched for a bit and the assistant made a comment about my choice. She's also a fan of the show. My dentist is running behind so I have plenty of time to get comfortable...and more nervous. "Dirty Jobs" is not show enough to completely distract me from why I'm here.

Finally, he comes in and we begin the process. He too points out that so many of his patients choose "educational" shows. The experience begins with two nasty numbing shots and lots of drilling.

TV has crept into our lives everywhere. It is no longer reserved for family time in the den. Kids have their own tvs in their rooms, they are strapped to seats in cars and minivans, even at restaurants and the bars conversation competes with whats on the boob tube, not to mention, catching flicks on cell phones and ipods. And it is no different at the dentist's office. While Dr. Drill Bit was grinding at my teeth, I could see the tech dazed by the images on the screen. And while the tech held the light on my tooth (to harden the filling) my dentist turned his attention to the dirty job on screen. I found myself getting super agitated. I couldn't even see the tv, much less care to watch it. I felt very compelled to pay attention with what was going on in my mouth...too bad my professionals weren't. If I could have reached the remote, I would have shut it off immediately and scolded something reminiscent of my mother, "No more tv until you've done your chores!"

Penguin Shuffle

Sarah, my dear friend, sent me some of her suits. She's crossed over to the other side....the skinny side. She was generous to ship a bunch of her nice threads (that now hang off her skinny body) all the way from DC. Yes! That shirt I wore that one time I visited. Alright! A cute black skirt suit. Woohoo! A cute jean skirt. I had the some of the goods dry cleaned this weekend and threw on the black skirt suit this morning. Cute. And sexy.

It wasn't until late this morning that I discovered the slit in the back of the skirt. I have discovered that a good portion of my thigh is exposed every step I take. I will avoid stairs and work on my penguin shuffle the rest of the afternoon.

Runner's High

The dream started approximately 1 year ago. C and I saw a group of them running by the apartment, consistently on Tuesday nights. Then, a friend explained, “Jack Quinn’s has a running club on Tuesday nights – it’s a 5K, and after 5 runs, you get a shirt. Wanna do it with me?” Chyeah right, I hadn’t run in awhile and had only completed one 5K in my life and it was grueling. I wasn’t going to try to keep up with the skinny thing. “Mmmmm, I’ll probably need to do some training.” So, I avoided the run, although, joined her for the beer afterwards, and a couple of times, would holler and whoop for her from my balcony as she and her sister ran by. For a year I saw the runners and told myself someday…
I am proud to say that someday was this Tuesday. After time on the treadmill and out on Monument Creek, I was ready. Not fast, mind you, but ready. S and I did a trial jog on Saturday. Not too bad. The hill on Uintah is cruel, but aside from that, totally doable. Tuesday came with rain and thunder and perfect excuses to stay inside and on my butt. Instead, I dusted off a rain parka and laced up. S and I are not ashamed to use stimulants, so we stopped at Starbucks for an espresso on the way down to Jack's. The place was crowded and I'm sure I looked green non-runner, with fear in my eyes. Everyone had intense and expensive running gear, which made my cotton shorts seem infantile. S's friend joined us and we all took it slow and easy. The rain in the face was refreshing and exciting - such an extreme first time! I was most excited when I passed my aparment. I could see the old me peering over from the balcony at the new me running the trail. The celebration was at the city auditorium with lots of people and a whole running culture. I'm not sure where we came in but the point is we came in, we finished. Speed? That's for kids, I'm talking heart-healthy over here. My goal is to run the next 4 weeks to get a shirt and I like to think by the end of the summer, I might be up for something extreme, like a 1oK!

Tina Time

Sunday, after the “closure and clarification” break up conversation, while my heart was tender and my emotions on the edge of busting out…. I turned on my car. The radio came on, “who needs a heart when a heart can be broken? What’s love got to do? Got to do with it?” That’s right, Tina to the rescue.

Oh my! It's so good to see you!

Yesterday, I had Dunkin’ Donuts. Not one donut but two because you can justify things like that after a sudden and unexpected heart break and after learning you have not 1, not 2, but 3 cavities. I went to the dentist after at least (don’t judge me) 2 years without a cleaning or check up. I didn’t have dental coverage. Two of the cavities had been previously filled; I say that so you don’t think less of me. (Interestingly enough, I expected some cavities – I don’t have great teeth and I had specifically prayed that I would not have more than 3, because I would be devastated. I need to pray bigger next time, next time I pray for 0 cavities.) Anyway, I hadn’t had breakfast and was advised to eat on the side where they didn’t paint my teeth with a sensodyne-type ointment (did I mention I have receding gums – self-induced: I don’t know the power behind my left arm). I’ve been wanting donuts for awhile and they were perfect for the task. It’s one of those things I get in my head and nothing will satiate the desire except for just that, a donut. I was passing Dunkin’ anyway; it was just what I “needed.”
I entered and after being overwhelmed by all of the delicious looking sugar-bombs, I noticed the table of elders. There was a whole group of cute white-haired ladies, all in cotton pants and striped or flowered shirts. There were a few men in the mix, but definitely out numbered. The older couple who had come in behind me went over to greet the table. One of the women (W1) was so excited to see this pair, she squealed and hugged the woman (W2). I thought to myself, “Ahh, kindred souls. I bet it’s been awhile since they’ve seen each other. Maybe W1 has been in the hospital or unable to make their donut dates. Look at how excited they both are. Sweet. Thank goodness for my girlfriends, maybe we’ll be like that someday.”
W2 came over to her husband in line and said, “That lady over there knows us, knows me and everything about me. I don’t know who she is. I have no idea who she is!” She was baffled.
It was funny – maybe slightly sad because they’re older and you never know if confusion could be dementia, but all that aside… It was humorous.

Craig!

I need a vacuum. We tried to go cheap, so we bought one of those low-end vacuums at Target. It seemed logical, we only have one rug. But, as we have previously discovered, you get what you pay for. It doesn't have any power. No suck. It's time to make an investment. "Why don't you try Craig's list?" suggested C. And so today, after being sucked into the vortex that is the internet (against my will, of course), I wandered over to see what Craig had to offer. After some time looking for a heavy duty vacuum (which isn't any fun at all because a vacuum is not the kind of thing anyone really wants to spend money on), I decided to browse other categories. "Beauty" seemed a good place to check out - you never know when you might stumble on a discounted pedicure. This is what I found....

I'm a normal guy, I like to dress as a woman & would love to go out on the town. I've no idea on how to style my wig, and I'm so so on my makeup skills. I'm not a stalker or crazy person, but would love the help.

Education in the hallways

His name was Mr. Daumaurier. He was my junior high school English teacher who wore a jerry curl and a navy blue lab coat. He would use words like "malarkey" and "outlandish." The popular guys in school always made fun of him and most days he would humor back, but some days he would respond in complete and blatant anger. I wondered how he made his way to some small DOD junior high, teaching disrespectful 13 year olds. During passing times, he would stand at the top of the stairs and direct the traffic. I remember being directed, "to the right, to the right, girl, don't you know how to walk?" He would guide us all, confused preteens, meandering the stairs in chaos, "stay to the right!" It made sense once I got it. If everyone always stays to the right, then we can be going in opposite directions and pass without the awkward collision.
I think about it often. I think about it a lot here at work. Time after time, while escorting a probationer down the hallway there is complete chaos if they encounter someone else coming toward us in the hallway. They don't know what to do. It is such a long hallway and can be quite an obstacle course if I'm following someone who doesn't know they can just stay to the right and plow right through.
Perhaps Mr. Daumaurier taught me more than how to maneuver through a crowded stairwell, I think he taught me about social norms, expectations and order.