Quotes to live by

says the guy in AA : well, when you're talking to the higher power (he points up); he doesn't want you acting like an a**hole.

says the girl with a meth problem: I am completely against alcohol. It is the most dangerous thing and totally legal. It is disgusting!

the conservative heterosexual about the homosexual (in a southern kermit the frog timbre): Now miss, I'm a man married to a woman and that's the way it should be. Look here, even the plug socket has female and male parts. You can't have electricity if there ain't a female and a male part. Now how they gonna tell me to let the dog moo.

the sketchy guy trying to get in good with the po: I want to get this case taken care of. I don't want to get in trouble and you have to spank me.

Car Talk

Have you ever noticed some of the most natural conversations occur in the car? The final moments together, wrapping things up and then starting all over. Random thoughts and stories. I was out with some friends last night. We went to a basketball game. Small talk here and there - focus on the game, of course (not to be distracted from the game by bad pompom dancers, naked men with painted bellies, cute little girls in cowgirl boots, security on the rafters with dogs). It wasn't until we were saying our goodbyes that conversation ran off. We talked about stolen vehicles eh hem, criminals, movies, foreign films, morality, barbie doll and the trouble she got herself into back in the day and webcams. It wasn't until we realized there were just 10 minutes to mid-night that we acutally departed. I've had countless hours of conversations with friends in the dark of my car - no background music, no distractions just sharing and analyzing. It's crazy that you can spend an evening not saying much and then with the hand on the door, hours of entertainment.

Boarder Babe

I was invited by friend to join her and a group of people on a ski/board trip - "mmm, yeah, I'll think about it." I keep saying I want to make it to the mountains more, figure out how to be a snow bunny. But months go by and then it's summer again - it's happened for several years now. It was, apparently, a super deal with limited space - going once, going twice..."Oh alright, I'll go! I'm in! Pick me!" And that is how the adventure began.
I couldn't decide - ski? (i've done it just once before, even took lessons...not the best experience I've ever had. I spent alot of time on the t-bar and learning to scale up the mtn, wasted a lot of energy and then when it came to skiing my fear would drive me into the snow banks. tragic.really.for someone who's lived here for over a decade) or snowboard? (this is what all the cool kids are doing, right? But, I vividly remember trying out my older sister's skateboard back in the day. After 5 minutes I was done. No natural skateboarding talent at all. Would this be the same? Do I want to go down the mountain sideways?) My friend was doing the snowboard thing and after recognizing that skiing would leave me with her black diamond brother, I decided now was the time to learn.
I went to Sports Authority and got some snow pants. I rented a board after asking the kid behind the counter if they had a ski vs board aptitude test - alas, no such thing. He put my boots on the board...oh my! It was a gothic kind of scene with a scary "thing" draped in black and the snow board company logo covering his face (which I assume is a good thing - or I might still be having nightmares of my day on the mountain with the devil). As soon as I got home, I spent about 5 minutes trying to figure out how to put my foot in the bindings. Once in, I stood up. My feet felt awkward in the boot, my calf unhappy with the pressure. I tried to maneuver around the living room, at one point almost falling over backward onto the hardwood floor. Fear.
The morning started early, with a bus ride to Monarch. Once off the bus, the wind was blowing and bitter. I kept feeling rushed to get inside, only to realize the goal of the day was to be out... in the wind that was blowing and bitter. Fortunately, a friend hooked me up with all the winter gear needed, including a helmet. Now, who doesn't feel cool in a helmet?
The first run down was frustrating, but by the end I had gotten the "make an S" thing down. I'm a bailer - think I'm going too fast, think I'm going to hit the kid- I bail. It takes so much energy to get back up! The worst - as always - was the chair lift. Nothing like getting nervous the whole way (perfomance anxiety) then getting to the top, shoved off and then doing the splits (ouch) and trying to recover and move out of the way before the next chair unloads it victims.
There were breaks for beer and lunch and de-thawing. Thank goodness! My body was exhausted but gracious...the real pain didn't come until the next morning. It was a task to roll over in the night, painful to bend down, take the stairs, get in and out of the rental car. I still have 2 purple bruises on my inner thigh - not quite sure how that happened.
Overall, and now that the pain is long gone... a good time. I want to get good at it. I think, if I work on not bailing and the chair lift departure, it could be pretty painless. Then I can be one of the cool kids.
I have decided that I would like to be the person in the chairlift booth - for at least a day. Can you imagine the chuckles that would be good for? I would've enjoyed watching myself do the splits...

Lost and Found

Well - they found it. I came in to work on Monday - expecting to talk to an insurance agent about how much my car was worth. When I listened to my voice mail my heart sank, "we found your vehicle, looks like it's alright but the ignition is busted. you can call the impound to get it back." What?! That's it?! No information about how they found it or if there are any suspects. What a mess. I took time off of work to go to the impound - but when I arrived it was closed for lunch. Thank you to the old guy who answered the phone and simply stated their hours were 8:00-4:30. I had to figure out who was going to tow it and where. Then when I went back to the impound old guy was mean and rude and it was too much for me to handle. He drove me out in his dirty truck to my car - the back window missing, dirt everywhere. Clear signs of violation. I called the tow truck and let them know the car had been released to them...only to discover they needed a key (at this moment I'm still trying to figure out why). That took a trip from work to the tow truck company. Let me tell you - it was like a scene from cops. A couple of people sitting around a card table. Duct tape on the cordless phone. Kid sitting on a goodwill couch. They were nice enough, but wow. Not to mention I had to cross an entire street of ice and water in my suit to get to them (thank goodness I expected the worse at the impound and threw on my tennis shoes). I'm sure they all knew that I had been crying - had puffy red eyes. No one wants to be the girl that is crying.
I got ahold of the officer who found my baby last night - "ya, looks like they did whatever they wanted to with it, heh heh, and then left it where we found it."
My jeep now sits at the shop - waiting for an insurance agent to check it out before any work is done. I've called the agency and have been informed that due to the blizzards they are a couple days behind schedule.
What I have learned:
That despite what we try to say - being an independent woman is HIGHLY over-rated. All the women who independent throw your hands up at me...but I might not return the gesture. I covet having a man who would take care of me and all of this (particularly the mean old man at the impound).
That being a victim of any crime is truly overwhelming. I have a new found sympathy to the victims I work with. Despite all my training, I now understand why so many of them are rude and impatient - they've been through the system - a system that is insensitive and uncaring toward them.

Life of the young and carless

I am very fortunate to live and work downtown. I can walk to get Starbucks, and I have. I can walk to work, and I have. Aside from grocery shopping, most conveniences are nearby. However, there is something super terrible about not being to hit mall or run an errand or just drive when you want to. This morning I had a breakdown. I was running behind - got up late, couldn't figure out what to wear. I would've been late if I had a car....but because I didn't, a ball of rage grew inside me. I promptly called State Farm to get hooked up with a rental. I went to the rental car agency and they gave me a Saturn Ion. I'm not much of a sedaner. In fact, I haven't considered any sedans when thinking of getting a new ride. I'm a jeep girl. And there is something exciting about imagining getting a newer jeep that is shiny and clean. I want to explore the mountains. This is the time in life...wouldn't be right to strap kids into a rugged 4x4. So, now is the time.
But, I'm also an open-minded girl. I'll tell you, there was something very comfortable about sitting in seats that were more comfy than my couch. The radio and temp dials were easily accessible. I could cart my mom around and not have to ask her to climb into the back, only then to watch her struggle as she tries to "jump" out. And I suppose, if I'm so inclined, I could throw a couple things in the trunk. This should be an interesting week.