You deserve better

What does that mean? I've heard, "you deserve better" at least 3 times in the last week from single, female friends. Sure, the response is exactly what I expected to hear in at least two of the scenarios, but is it realistic? I am beginning to realize I hit it off with the ladies very well. It's the guys I'm having a hard time convincing. There are times when I know I am my worst critic and other times when I think I am quite a catch. Where is the balance? And where is the discernment when times are tough and you "work with what you got?"


Another thought today:
A young girl was sitting on the bench outside of my office window. Her shirt read, "I had a nightmare I was a brunette." Her hair was clearly chemically treated and I was concerned that someday she will realize she is a brunette and then her nightmare will really only be beginning.

Also:
I had a guy in my office today who was wearing a polo shirt. The print on the shirt was of other polo shirts under v-neck sweater vests - a truly disturbing sight. Why wear a polo shirt of other polo shirts? I had a hardtime focusing on what he was saying.
-jlt

Super Nanny

I watched Super Nanny the other night and I decided that everyone loves Jo because she is a normal sized women - or a little overweight. Dads like her: she is beautiful and friendly. Moms like her: she isn't intimidating and is safe. Children like her: she gets down on their level and plays with them. I tried to imagine how the show would go if Jo was a tall, slender blonde, with a rack. It wouldn't work.

I recently attended a baby shower and sat next to a woman I had never met. She asked if I had a family of my own. Mom and dad??? I politely returned the question. She is married, no children, but they do have a cat and that is like their child. She then proceeded to tell me how she is disciplining her cat despite the common assumption that cats cannot be trained. She explained how she has learned much of her tools on Super Nanny. You see, instead of a "naughty chair" she is using a naughty bathroom. If the cat does something bad, it is placed in the designated john. After a couple of minutes, the cat is released. She assured me that the cat does not like it in there. I asked her if this routine of discipline was working...."well, I'm not sure yet."

Where's Waldo?

I stayed late at work last night and spent a good portion of my Saturday working on an application to the District Probation office. It would mean better pay, state employee benefits and getting out of my current office. I'm not really even sure I would want the job (I want to get out of this town and work in a more positive environment...i want to be nice) but I've decided that if I don't try, then I don't have the option - so at the very least I will apply for the option.
After some progress, I went to the Citadel with CAT - I was looking for a new nose ring and ran into one of my probationers (along with her 4 er make that 5, bun in the oven, children and her extremely pierced friend). Awkward.
We then passed one of my guys who works at a kiosk - I did not look in his direction... to avoid any more awkwardness.
This evening I went out for sushi and ice cream with some friends. At the restaurant there was a guy who is supervised by one of my co-workers. After ice cream, while walking back to my apartment, I spot another one of my guys - ready for a night on the town.
Earlier this week I discovered I am supervising a friend of a ex-fiance of a friend. Last weekend I was greeted at Target.
Man oh man.... do I want to stay in this field? I literally cannot go ANYWHERE?! Where is the anonymity? I feel like there isn't a "safe" place in this town where I can go without seeing someone who is/was on probation with me or a co-worker. Ugh! Are they all people I need to avoid - no - but I don't want to see them.
It's funny - when I logged in here today, I thought, "why don't we use our names? why so mysterious?" Then I remembered my inspiration. I had been urged by numerous friends to try on-line dating. I signed up for a match.com account, filled out my profile and provided pictures. It wasn't horribly successful, but I did get a handful of emails (none of my pursuers were worth getting to know). One day, I received an email and read the text before the picture popped up: "Hey Jana, thank you for not getting totally mad at me for missing my appointment on Wednesday. This isn't a come on, just wanted to tell you what a great job you do."
And then the picture - it was the guy you'd never want emailing you.The guy on my caseload with long hair, Led Zepplin t-shirts, tight stonewashed jean shorts....the horror! I can't win.