and to my left you'll see....

Welcome to the small town of Herrington - the tour will now begin.

If you take a good look around, you'll notice no chain stores. That's right folks, one of the few remaining all-american towns with no fast food joints or mega drugstores. You may also find how very dependant you've become to chain-america living.

This town is proud of the railroad that runs through it. There is much excitement over the bridge that will cross over the railroad, which will eliminate future decades of waiting to get to the "other side of the tracks."

Tonight, let's peek into this high school graduation party award ceremony. What you might find is that your extended family isn't as standout as you expected (despite uncle M wearing the shortest shorts you've ever seen on a man), as you watch a woman with no undergarments tromping up and down the gym bleachers, running to and from the bathroom with or without her dirty 3 yr/old, sometimes talking in a loud whisper. If we stay here long enough tonight, you too can be mesmerized by the small town phenomenon of having the same classmates from kindergarten on. Let's listen as they share stories from the second grade. I think you'll see that Missy - the star student - will stand up at least a dozen times to receive awards and scholarships for her grades, performance and involvement in community activities. If you stay too long you might become secretly obsessed with her life and whether the other students love her or hate her and how she will do in college when she's one of thousands and not just 1 in 30.

Over to the right, you'll notice Ms. X - the cool teacher. The teacher who probably supplies all the kids with their alcohol. Let's listen as she presents an award. "This girl was my gossip girl! She always kept me up to date on the latest..... and this girl is the fastest text messager I know!!!" hug, hug

Look into the crowd to see the class's bad boy. He smirks and rolls his eyes. He is literally too cool for school... and his parents own the local real estate business.

If we take a stroll through this little town - you'll notice all of the closing warnings. That's right. Here, the whole place shuts down for the local high school's graduation. Barnes (the grocery store) will be closed. OMG (the local second hand store) will not open today because the grand-daughter is graduating.

If we take a drive outside of town, to the next largest city we can grab a bite to eat....or not. Oddly enough, the A&W has run out of meat. That's right. The hamburger restaurant has no hamburger. If you choose to stop at Denny's you may be overcome by the smoke floating throughout the entire restaurant and may be shocked to remember Colorado's smoking ban has only been in effect for a short time. If lucky, you will taste nicotine in the pancakes.

And if you're really lucky, you will see your grandfather cross the stage at 81 and watch as this sleepy, tiny town rises in a standing ovation.