Laundromat

I recently went to the laundromat to do some massive washing. I needed to wash my couch slipcover before hosting a party and saw it as a great opportunity to get all of my laundry done...without having to climb the 4 flights of stairs to the basement washroom. I dragged all my dirty clothes to the laundromat on Platte. I walked in and was immediatley concerned. There were "Apartment Guides" thrown on the floor, a couple of old dryer sheets and a puddle of water from a leaking washing machine. The mega washers (the whole reason I came to the laundromat) were all broken - yes, all 4 of them. So I shoved the slipcover in a standard washing machine and gave the on-site security camera a look to imply, "it's your own fault." I loaded up 4 machines. I couldn't get one to stay balanced, so the spin would stop. Another machine started with a spin cycle - never washed the clothes. I had to transfer my soapy clothes to another machine and pay another $1.25 to try again. The machines were called "Speedy Wash" and speedy it was. Too speedy. Are my clothes really getting cleaned? I sat in the place by myself - at first relieved I didn't have to avoid eye contact with someone for an hour. But as time passed, I became very aware that while I had difficulty seeing outside through the reflective glass, the whole world and passing Platte could clearly see me. Sketchy - very sketchy. At one point, the door slammed open and a guy came in with a beanie on his head...freaked me out. Fortunately he only asked for the time but I was all kinds of ready to shout out: "Stay back - I've been to defensive skills training and my hands are weapons!" The clothes took too long in the dryer and I found myself folding damp jeans. I left with 4 loads of cleanish laundry - but next time, I think I'm just going to make the trek down the stairs to the basement.

Mount Me

Last week I went to a "defensive skills training" for my job. A whole week in Denver, away from home and on dirty, smelly gym mats. We were in training at the Denver Police Academy - eh hum - is it PT time for the cadets again? I thought I'd be challenged to work on some Billy Blank moves, in fact I joked about it before going. Not so funny. It was 4 1/2 days of non-stop physical activity. After the first day, an afternoon of wrist grabs I had bruises on my arms. By Tuesday night I thought there was no way I would make it through the rest of the week. Side kicks, mule kicks, front punch, hammer punch, palm heel...."get into your ready stance...kick, kick, kick, punch, left turn, kick, right turn, kick, palm heel, palm heel." There were times when the trainers would direct us to find a partner - I was always looking for the weak girls. Erin, a co-worker was someone I stayed away from. Clearly competetive and dangerous she really grabbed and she really kicked. Every few minutes they would yell out to find a new partner. It was worse than a junior high dance - trying to find someone who wants to be your partner, realizing you're the only one around who hasn't found anyone to match up with yet and then finding the other loser - you both hold resentment toward one another.
The highlight of my grueling week was "ground fighting" day. "Okay everyone, once you've found a partner I want you to mount them." It's true - an afternoon of sitting on each other and being rolled over and on top of one another -does it get more awkward...."Okay, for those of you ladies who haven't worked with a male partner yet, you need to find one, everyone needs to work with a guy."
Well, let's be honest folks - it was the most action I've gotten in a long time -rolling around with a strange man.
My body was so sore each night that turning over in my sleep was a chore. Standing up and sitting down a dramatic accomplishment. My roomate, Sarah woke up on Wednesday and yelled, "I don't want to f@#*g do this anymore." I shared her anger but was shocked when she started cursing in her sleep.
I find myself more sensitive, waiting for someone to grab me so I can take them down. I was prepared while in a Panera bathroom stall with someone pacing the small room. I followed their feet was ready to defend myself should that attack me. Watch out or I might mount you.
-jlt

Late Starts

A co-worker of mine has quadruplets....4 babies, all at once. Mom strolled them in today with their 4 seater. Precious little babies - all different: the loud one, the leader, the small one, the giggler. Absolutely precious! The babies were good - for awhile - and mom was calm and pleasant, dad was proud. I got a little veklempt - precious babies are no where near in my future. But, I have decided that is the way to go - I'm clearly getting a late start on child bearing, so when and if it happens...quadruplets! One big production, for babies and viola, a family!
-JLT

No No Manolo

So a random stop in ROSS last night and I find the Perfect shoes! They're exactly what I've been looking for. Brown. Cute opening at top with just enough room for 3 toes and a nice heel - but not a wedge - gotta watch out for those weak ankles. I've seen others for $50 - so when I saw these for just $14.99 - what a deal?! I had a hard time getting a feel for their comfort. I find it difficult to shuffle across the shoe aisle while my two feet are chained together. I do my best and decide, for the price, they are worth the risk. I put them on this morning. So cute with my outfit. I will bedazzle the world today in these shoes. The world is my oyster in these shoes today. I write this from my office, much later in the day. I am dreading any obligation to get up and hobble to get my appointment all the way down the hallway. I surely won't print anything that will require me to make an extra trip to the copier. I'm working on blisters on the top of my sad little toes. I have rubbed the back of my ankle raw and the balls of my feet are very unhappy. Darn these shoes! They are my prison. The world will not see me today, because my shoes have me shackled in a chair. This has gone all wrong. These shoes have back-fired! After some deep thought, I have discovered that there really isn't anyone to bedazzle. Such a shame. These blisters in vain.
-jlt

Pull my finger

I had a pretty eventful weekend a couple weeks ago. I climbed the incline! It became something I "have to do" just this summer, previously I thought people who climbed the incline were kind of crazy and extreme. CAT and I started in the morning and huffed and puffed our way to the top. I forgot the torture it was before we ever got down and the sense of accomplishment has carried me for weeks. Princess Warrior, I am.
That afternoon I went to a beer festival in Manitou Springs with 2 friends - sisters, who showed up dressing all kinds of sassy that made me very aware of my feet of height over them and my casual appearance. We arrived and learned there were 85 beers. It became our task to, among the 3 of us, sample them all. Woa! It was a good time, beer, live music and a friendly crowd. I met Randy. Turns out he lives up where the parent's have a cabin. "You should come out for the tractor pull next weekend." He hands me his business card, which, no kidding is a picture of him on a tractor. I call him later to get details on "the pull" and he returns the message with the details. Kind of fun! I'm on the country music kick with heightened romanticism of men who work with their hands, ride tractors and say "yee haw." This might be fun.
Needless to say, what followed was disappointing:
If you haven't been, tractor pulls, not very exciting. Don't get me wrong it was fun to feel the community-kind-of-gathering and hear people yelling "go Bob!" But over all, pretty tame.
After some awkwardness of meeting up with Randy, we (2 new friends - 1 married, who can be assured she got a good one) confirmed we had been invited to a bbq at his place. Once we arrived it was clear that "I think your tractor's sexy" lyrics didn't tell all. How were we to know that tractor boys don't necessarily wash their hands after the event? There was no warning that these guys would prefer to pee outside on the land instead of going in to the bathroom, not to mention the confusion on whether there was another roll of toilet paper. I wasn't prepared for a dolly in the dining room, or the guy who lost his tooth after he'd taken it out to eat - only to find it on the dirty carpet later that evening, where he promplty popped it back in. Wasn't exactly the Tim McGraw, Keith Urban, Brad Paisley crowd I had hoped for.

The next day my friends and I went off-roading. There is something so fun about bouncing around in my jeep. The top off. The sun shining. The smell of mountain.

Good times, great memories, but I'm afraid no prince charmings.
-JLT

Ex = Co

Everybody knows it, everybody says it - "don't date co-workers." It gets messy. I learned the hard way. Dated I guy I had worked with for several years. He broke me down over a year...we dated and lasted only a few short months...then there was the lack of the clean break (seeing him daily). It was very messy. It's been 2 years. Geesh, ex-boyfriend who? The only complication was occassionally seeing him at meetings, court, and trainings after he got a new job working for the state.
Having been in my abusive work environment too long, and after having bounced my head on the glass ceiling 3 years ago, I also decided to apply to work for the state - it is the only option for work to stay in the field. It was a big deal when I got the job - over 100 had applied. There was apprehension, how will be to work where the ex is? Nah, there are over 75 people in the department and 5 different divisions. I probably wouldn't even see him.
I arrived at my first day. "Check in with Ellen, she's going to be your supervision." Shoot! The ex and I are going to be in the same division?! I check in with Ellen and aside from the drama of the ex, she's a good supervisor and I'll be working in a good division. Ellen directs me to my new office..... please take a deep breath, because what's about to happen isn't even humorous.... I'll be working right next door to my ex. We're talking neighbors, we're talking I can hear him breath, clear his throat, I can hear his phone calls.
GOD! What in the world are you trying to teach me?!
-JLT

Tomorrow or maybe it will be To Sore OHHHH

I am a terrible sister. I got caught up in 360Yahoogroups and forgot to update on this one and J has been feeling mighty lonely manning this site all by herself. So…. tomorrow we plan on tackling the giant known as “The Incline.” We have done it before so the fool thinks that a second time will be easier. Who really knows?! Now, you might have thought, they will in Colorado and could be referencing Pikes Peak. Oh no, my friend, Big Girls think smaller than that, however, the 1-mile uphill climb is one for the cardio workout and beautiful behind builder and what girl can regret that? Later tomorrow, I and a couple of other people will be heading down to P-Town for the State Fair. YippeHiKiYeah!! We will be eating terrible things, walking through the stinky farm animal cages, whooing and awing over the kids participating in the greased pig games, looking at EVERY species of hen both edible and decorative. We will look at too many quilts, too many samples of Mary Jane’s strawberry preserves and we will be enticed too many times to sit through a cookware presentation. It’s interesting all the cookware companies are named different but they all seem to come from the same town in PA. hmmm…
-CAT