RING:" Hello"
Caller:"Hey, what are you doin'?"
One thought ran through my head "WHAT?"
I was sitting on the couch when the phone rang; expecting a call from someone else I was stunned into silence by the sound of his voice; his familiar southern drawl. Yes, this is the cowboy that I went to visit in Texas. But he is an ex now. We split about three weeks after my trip. We ended amiacably, still friends and talking; thinking that if I were closer we would be together.
So, how is it that he always found some excuse for not calling me when we were together but now he calls like it is nothing. I mean twice this week; yes twice this week I have answered the phone to hear that voice that I used to wait for. Sitting idly by waiting for my phone to show his name on caller id and now, I am blown away, twice in one week. It seems like when there was a title on the relationship there was too much pressure for him.
But then when we were together I could hardly use endearing terms like honey. He used to ask why and I would force them out akwardly. And now I catch myself using them; they just slide out in the middle of our conversations. "Ah, honey"; I mean where is that coming from?
I guess that when you lose the titles the Pressure's Off.
ca aka cmt
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Alaska or Bust
It's hard to believe how long it takes vacation to arrive and how quickly it goes. My week in Alaska was the shortest of the year. It was a great time...an opportunity for Les Trois Soeurs to spend time together, exploring more of Cmt's backyard. She and her roommate were gracious hosts and took us all over the state, literally. Five women and three large dogs crammed into a Dodge Durango with camping gear and groceries was quite a sight. We encountered just one burly, now-Alaskan man on our travels (let us not forget the firefighters - thanks T) and drooled all the while. I did see moose this year - my first spotting was on the way into Palmer, fighting long blinks after our flight...I looked up and hollered, "MOOSE!" just in time for Cmt to avoid more than sightseeing. We saw a lot...took a mini road trip to Portage (where Portage Glacier sits), Girdwood, and saw Hatcher's Pass (once a mining town - my favorite). We went to Denali National Park and camped outside the park, a beautiful place. We enjoyed a nice hike and a bit of wildlife....on the way back to the car I mis-stepped and saw my life flash before my eyes. Not quite sure what happened, but remember thinking, "Dear Jesus..." "I don't want to die, or break anything, or eww bugs..." I think I did a full somersault and the brush stopped me. Cat and T said it didn't sound good. <My ankle is still sore and I'm trying to remember if it is the same ankle I fractured in the 8th grade - note to self: do not dance to La bamba while going down the stairs...dangerous.>
We went up to Fairbanks and camped on the Chenu River. Camping is a blast and I have decided I want to do more of it. It is not a past time to feel pretty or like a girl, or even good for one's complexion- but it is great to get away and sit around the fire. After discussion the next morning, we decided a moose had come very close to our tent, there was snorting and breathing and, yes, fresh moose poo the next morning. We went to Matanuska Glacier - after signing a waiver explaining we may DIE, we went out and walked on the glacier, I think I could've stayed out there for hours, but the rain game and a moving land form didn't seem like the place to be standing.
Hours before leaving we ate a good meal at the Glacier Brewhouse. I went all out again this year and had crab legs!
It was great to see Cmt and T and meet T's friend. They were great hostesses and really went out of their way to show us around. You should be proud of your home and backyard... it is a great place and was a terrific trip.
-J
This trip sponsored by mom and dad - thank you very much, wouldn't have happened without your generosity.
We went up to Fairbanks and camped on the Chenu River. Camping is a blast and I have decided I want to do more of it. It is not a past time to feel pretty or like a girl, or even good for one's complexion- but it is great to get away and sit around the fire. After discussion the next morning, we decided a moose had come very close to our tent, there was snorting and breathing and, yes, fresh moose poo the next morning. We went to Matanuska Glacier - after signing a waiver explaining we may DIE, we went out and walked on the glacier, I think I could've stayed out there for hours, but the rain game and a moving land form didn't seem like the place to be standing.
Hours before leaving we ate a good meal at the Glacier Brewhouse. I went all out again this year and had crab legs!
It was great to see Cmt and T and meet T's friend. They were great hostesses and really went out of their way to show us around. You should be proud of your home and backyard... it is a great place and was a terrific trip.
-J
This trip sponsored by mom and dad - thank you very much, wouldn't have happened without your generosity.
Friday, June 17, 2005
Golden Trough
So, of all the glamorous restaurants in town, of all the places to feel special on your birthday, Ch chooses to eat at the Golden Corral. "Why?!" I asked her a number of times - but to no avail...her heart was set. I used to have an aversion to buffets, they would make me nervous. People standing behind you waiting for you to get out of the way so they can get what they want...the pressure was too much, and almost inevitably I would crack and spill things, drop olives, lettuce flying - really a sad scene. It might have something to do with an experience at Bonanza as a small child. I was looking for the best pieces of lettuce at the salad bar and was scolded by a woman about playing in the food. It shook my world, and think I even cried.
I've overcome most of those feelings and can handle the buffet like an adult - although I noticed last night that I kind of mumble to myself, "Oh my, oops, dropped a bit over there." Even, or especially, when there is no one around to hear me.
I do become concerned when I look around at buffets - "all you can eat" - really does encourage over-eating and over-eaters are abundant. I can't judge them, I too was an over-eater last night. It is far worse than even Thanksgiving - at least at those huge meals at home, you know you can have some more tomorrow, in fact the less you eat today, the more you'll have for lunch the rest of the week. Not at buffets, no take home boxes, if you want your money's worth, it's going out in your belly. Well, my belly was jam-packed, eating things out of obligation, eating things because they were there, eating things because that's what you do at these places. "Get we get some more plates? More rolls?" It was a great time, although everyone left feeling uncomfortable, needing to lay down, unbutton things, and swearing off meals for a week. -J
I've overcome most of those feelings and can handle the buffet like an adult - although I noticed last night that I kind of mumble to myself, "Oh my, oops, dropped a bit over there." Even, or especially, when there is no one around to hear me.
I do become concerned when I look around at buffets - "all you can eat" - really does encourage over-eating and over-eaters are abundant. I can't judge them, I too was an over-eater last night. It is far worse than even Thanksgiving - at least at those huge meals at home, you know you can have some more tomorrow, in fact the less you eat today, the more you'll have for lunch the rest of the week. Not at buffets, no take home boxes, if you want your money's worth, it's going out in your belly. Well, my belly was jam-packed, eating things out of obligation, eating things because they were there, eating things because that's what you do at these places. "Get we get some more plates? More rolls?" It was a great time, although everyone left feeling uncomfortable, needing to lay down, unbutton things, and swearing off meals for a week. -J
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Birthday TODAY WHOOOHOOO!
Howdy!! I just wanted to say thanks now for the great evening I will have tonight. Gorging myself in the presence a great family and friend. Ca- Thanks for the call today!! Love you bunches and J and I plan to call you and gush about how excited we are about our trip!
Today at work, the ladies celebrated for me by having a themed party. They brought in all sorts of olives and cheeses and non-alcoholic drinks for us to try. It was fabulously fun and made me feel special.
Love you all!!
ch
Today at work, the ladies celebrated for me by having a themed party. They brought in all sorts of olives and cheeses and non-alcoholic drinks for us to try. It was fabulously fun and made me feel special.
Love you all!!
ch
Monday, June 13, 2005
Mr. No Game
I met a boy at a bar. I know, it is absolutely not recommended. I know these things, but can't help but discover them on my own. Same with dating co-workers: DON'T DO IT! Everyone knows that, but I had to learn the hard way. I am a very responsible, practical girl - but when it comes to dating, I really compromise what I know is best. It's just the pickings are so slim! Where is a girl supposed to meet a boy? There aren't any prospects at church, they don't approach in the produce aisles anymore, on-line has not worked for me, and I can't stand WalMart (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,157073,00.html) as is.
So I had had some drinks, Mr. No Game was a really nice guy, we chatted a bit, and before the end of the night he asked for my number...and then he called?! We went out a couple of times - again, a nice guy, but no game. It's the trait you think you will miss the least, especially if you've been fortunate enough to date a player. But a guy with no game just isn't attractive. He lacks smoothness, finesse, and that Rico Suaveness that really makes a man a bit more desirable. "Self, don't be so tough on the guy. So he can't handle a phone conversation, so he can't think outside of the 'want to meet for coffee for the third time?' box - doesn't mean he isn't a good guy." I stepped out of my comfortable bubble and decided to ask him out for a Saturday morning outing, shake things up a bit. I called him mid-week and asked him if he wanted to go the Farmer's Market and then hang out in Old Colorado City. His response? "uh, well, it's only Wednesday, I don't normally, uh, make plans for Saturday until Friday night." As it turns out, I rated slightly below a kegger. Mr. No Game explained to me much later that week, that he was going to a kegger and wouldn't be able to get up Saturday before 11:00am. Woa - and I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes I should go with the gut. -J
So I had had some drinks, Mr. No Game was a really nice guy, we chatted a bit, and before the end of the night he asked for my number...and then he called?! We went out a couple of times - again, a nice guy, but no game. It's the trait you think you will miss the least, especially if you've been fortunate enough to date a player. But a guy with no game just isn't attractive. He lacks smoothness, finesse, and that Rico Suaveness that really makes a man a bit more desirable. "Self, don't be so tough on the guy. So he can't handle a phone conversation, so he can't think outside of the 'want to meet for coffee for the third time?' box - doesn't mean he isn't a good guy." I stepped out of my comfortable bubble and decided to ask him out for a Saturday morning outing, shake things up a bit. I called him mid-week and asked him if he wanted to go the Farmer's Market and then hang out in Old Colorado City. His response? "uh, well, it's only Wednesday, I don't normally, uh, make plans for Saturday until Friday night." As it turns out, I rated slightly below a kegger. Mr. No Game explained to me much later that week, that he was going to a kegger and wouldn't be able to get up Saturday before 11:00am. Woa - and I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes I should go with the gut. -J
Monday, May 23, 2005
Thursday, May 19, 2005
The inevitable Trip
In every relationship there comes a point when the two involved must decide is this worth their time, especially in a long distance relationship. They must decide if there is potential for long term; are the multi-hour phone conversations getting them anywhere, any closer to a deeper commitment? Well, I made the trek to Texas to see my beau and figure some things out. My goal for the trip was to spend lots of time together and help us to both recognize our deeper desires for this relationship.
Ahh, what a womanly perspective...Right, but a ten day face plant into reality was awaiting me. I had a fantastic time; we hung around the house, went for drives into town, went on dates and so on... But, as a female, I realize, I was looking for enlightening moments of clarity... is he my future; can we get along all of the time; can I mesh into the family?
The answers I found---yes, we could have a great future; we get along great; I get along with the family smashingly well.
What I was not expecting to learn---how to shoot a gun; that men think on such a different level when measuring a relationship; THAT THIS TRIP ANSWERED NO QUESTIONS AT ALL.
Upon my return to Alaska we knew no better where we stood on the future of our relationship. We are still facing the same questions and still trying to decide for ourselves... IS ALL THIS WORTH IT?
~Ca
Ahh, what a womanly perspective...Right, but a ten day face plant into reality was awaiting me. I had a fantastic time; we hung around the house, went for drives into town, went on dates and so on... But, as a female, I realize, I was looking for enlightening moments of clarity... is he my future; can we get along all of the time; can I mesh into the family?
The answers I found---yes, we could have a great future; we get along great; I get along with the family smashingly well.
What I was not expecting to learn---how to shoot a gun; that men think on such a different level when measuring a relationship; THAT THIS TRIP ANSWERED NO QUESTIONS AT ALL.
Upon my return to Alaska we knew no better where we stood on the future of our relationship. We are still facing the same questions and still trying to decide for ourselves... IS ALL THIS WORTH IT?
~Ca
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)