Les Trois Soeurs

I don't know, what do you think?

2009-12-16T19:58:00.003-07:00

a hostile work environment?
I mean I get it, it's Halloween... but really? This is appropriate decor for a probation office... where clients are on probation for crimes that might include violence, assault, attempted homicides, menacing? I'm just saying.

Frick and Frack

2009-11-30T19:35:00.002-07:00

On a daily basis, as I see things that seem mysterious or humorous, I often imagine it as a movie or documentary. Saturday night it was an apron on the side walk downtown. Black in color, no logo, just laying there next to a bench. Hmmmm.... the possibilities of stories behind that.

After this morning I have now seen 2 dead mice outside of the Convention Center.

How could it fit into my complex mental plot? Where are they coming from? A kitchen? An underground world? How did they meet their end? What brought them out to the busy sidewalk?

This evening it was Frick and Frack - we've gone to the local auto shop twice now, both times to get batteries for our cars. On both events, the same two guys were working. A young assistant manager with a crazy lisp (that isn't quite a lisp because it's on the sides of his mouth) and his senior assistant. We give the model and make of the car - they both go to their computers and it looks like it's going to be a race but Mr. Senior, older and wiser, stops his search to let his manager be the one to find the answer. Manager goes to get the battery, Mr. Senior offers to help, manager assists he can do it on his own. This has happened twice. Two times. On two different occasions we have watched the same scene play out. What is their story? And if the movie/novel was about Mr. Senior would we see his earlier days of success now followed by a remedial job due to the suffering economy, where he keeps his mouth shut and takes orders from his lispy boss? Or what if it was about the manager? Would we see him stay late at the shop to avoid going home to a lonely studio after a day of feeling knowledgeable and competent after working with an older guy who hasn't yet memorized the codes for all the parts like he has?

The list goes on, it's free entertainment in my head. It's what feeds my desire and urge to eavesdrop in restaurants and on public transportation. Now if only I could get the real stories.

Spice up the hum drum

2009-09-16T18:34:00.000-06:00

This month marks #10 of employment at this "new" job. It also marks the 10th month of being married to a wonderful man and 10 months of being so happy he asked me to be his bride and 10 months of enjoying life together. But back to this job - I detest it. In the excitement of getting married and moving to the big city, in the midst of co-workers questioning my decision to transfer to the office with the bad reputation, I dismissed it - how bad can it be? I couldn't justify commuting - that would be crazy. So 10 months now and every Sunday evening comes with a gloom cloud tainting it because Monday is close. Fridays never come soon enough. Coffee runs every morning don't make it taste better. Most days I feel incompetent despite being in the biz plenty long. I regularly wonder if I'll ever make any healthy friends. There is something incredibly unfriendly about the group. I swear I've gotten snarls in the hallway for no reason.

In effort to find enjoyment in the mundane and sometimes painful, I have found some true treasures around the place.

Love Awaits You Here: someone has taken it upon themselves to point out the hidden treasure of this ugly, uninviting business building. I loved it the first time I saw it. When I take the time to notice and appreciate it - it brings a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart. I am continually pleased that no one has removed the paint job or covered it in brown to camouflage the beautiful graffiti.

The Sad Bathroom Boy: There is a set of bathrooms in the hallway. Someone has taken it upon him/herself to give this guy a sad demeanor. I hear you, I feel the same way.

The Happy Potty Girl: No worries for this little lady. She's turned that frown upside down.

Dancers

2009-09-16T17:55:00.000-06:00

A couple weeks ago Matt and I had a picnic date. Well... really the date consisted of Thai take out from our favorite spot and a short car ride to Washington Park. I have to say I love Wash Park. It is shamefully yuppy but I love the people watching while still feeling safe and the fact that there are two little bodies of water to walk past make it much more enjoyable than a walk through the residential neighborhood near the apartment. We sat near the walking trail - perfect for people watching, and near the gardens - perfect to take in the last blooms of summer. After our scrumptious meal we walked past the boat house on the water. I've seen it packed with people and catered on evenings. I think it would be the perfect spot for a gala of sorts...particularly if you can set it for the sunset. This night, we could see people dancing and hear some music. How fun! What could this be?
We arrive to see an odd collection of people dancing to a random selection of exotic, foreign music. After watching for a while it is clear these aren't people who have just stopped by and joined in on the dance, they've come for the dance. Hmmmm, is this some kind of foreign dance class? There are clearly specific dance moves and I can see some of the confused/insecure dancers intently studying the feet of the pros. It isn't until the song," Sixteen going on Seventeen" comes on that I realize this isn't an exotic dance... this is a group of weirdos that have made their own regimented moves to music. Now I am noticing the women aren't very feminine and the men aren't very masculine. An awkward looking group of people. There is a lot of touching during the dancing. People are serious! They are sweating and taking breaks and in between songs some of them are seriously trying to learn the correct moves. One man is friendly withe ladies, another has a biker look but his tough exterior vanishes while he flails he hands in the air while he moves.
It is strange to me, I could watch for hours but Matt is ready to go. We try to figure out what drives the people to come. Are they hoping to connect with other people? Does this make them feel more cultural? Is it for the exercise?
After a google search, I've learned it is, indeed, called Ethnic Dancing. huh

2009-07-19T14:10:00.000-06:00

Wow, it's been awhile.
Life has been wonderful, busy, stressful and sad. Who has time to blog?

Without a ton of detail, here's what's been going on:

I turned 30! And what other way to celebrate such a milestone than to celebrate in a foreign country?! and visit your little sister as she works in Italy?!
We had a great time. We arrived in Rome - which was an exhausting city filled with so much history... and graffiti. Then we traveled to Vicenza, a sweet little town with cute cafes, snazzy shops and charm, to see Cadena and her life in Italia. We took day trips to Venice, a beautiful and enchanting city, and Verona.

The Music Scene

2009-04-11T09:44:00.001-06:00

What I'm loving about this big city scene is the live music. We've been able to enjoy a few great concerts. Concerts, that back in the day would've meant a commute to the city and a long, late trip back. Who would drive? Where would we eat? Could we get off work early?

Now, it's just a little drive, or light rail trip.

I was able to get tickets to a sold out concert, Adele, a couple of months ago. It took some craigslist research and meeting a strange man on the side of the road in LoDo and refusing his generous offer for a ride to the show, but it was fantastic.

A couple of weekends ago we went to see Greg Laswell in some sketchy club mostly known for their punk bands. It is extra special to feel safe at these random places with a protective strong man at my side.

We love the Walnut Room, a venue that has local performers, as well as some up and coming artists. It happens to be where we went on our second date to see Basia Bulat and while dating, fell in love with Will Dailey.

We also got to see Autumn Film for free at a bbq joint that has live music.

I've said it before, there's just nothing quite like listening to an artist/band perform their music live, listen to their in-between stories and get a sense of their personality... and sing along out loud or with quiet lip movements.

I could get used to this!

2009-04-11T09:39:00.001-06:00

Spring Fever

2009-03-22T12:01:00.001-06:00

Spring
Karla Kuskin

I'm shouting
I'm singing
I'm swinging through trees
I'm winging sky-high
With the buzzing black bees.
I'm the sun
I'm the moon
I'm the dew on the rose.
I'm a rabbit
Whose habit
Is twitching his nose.
I'm lively
I'm lovely
I'm kicking my heels.
I'm crying "Come dance"
To the freshwater eels.
I'm racing through meadows
Without any coat
I'm a gamboling lamb
I'm a light leaping goat
I'm a bud
I'm a bloom
I'm a dove on the wing.
I'm running on rofftops
And welcoming spring!

I came home to find these beautiful tulips from my sweet husband.

Cupcakes

2009-03-12T18:19:00.000-06:00

My current obsession is cupcakes.

I was frustrated with the delay of the cupcake craze taking so long to get to Colorado. Now that I'm in the big city, I cannot get enough of them.

It started when Christina sent me a link from a Denver paper about a new cupcake shop. When Cadena was driving through, and I was home sick, she asked if I needed anything. "I need a cupcake." I had been thinking about them since the news of the new shop and had almost attempted to find it on my own this sad sick day, but it was all I could do to muster enough energy to go to McDonald's for a fatty lunch and cheap movie.

Hmph - so, we all agreed they were disappointing, with thick icing that tasted more like crisco.

This did not deter my interest or desire for cupcakes, but instead, challenged me to find the best one in town.

For mom's birthday, we went out to do a Cupcake Challenge. There are two bakeries across from each other on Colfax Ave. One, with traditional fluffy finds and the other with more artistic rich ones.

For the record, two size-able cupcakes in one setting is more than enough.

On another day, Cadena was back in town, had stopped somewhere to chill for a while and discovered their cupcakes with espresso icing. She offered to pick me up from work, and we headed right back there - I needed one!

After purchasing an icing tool,

I was easily convinced to take the cupcake making class at a local cooking

school with a co-worker. 3 hours, 5 recipes and I had to try them all. It wasn't until after the class, that I realized by tasting half of each recipe (which I thought exhibited great self-control), I had finished off 2 1/2 cupcakes. Lunch - check.

It was so fun to have friends over that evening, after dinner and short films, to share the last of the treasures. 5 cupcakes cut in fourths!

Now co-workers keep asking when we'll bring some in to work. Oh no, I think not. These aren't the kind cupcakes you bring in to work to have scarfed down by people who don't know your name. My adventure will continue.... until I've tried them all!

Thanks Cadena, for your great support in my cupcake treasure hunt.

RTD BLUES

2009-03-12T17:41:00.000-06:00

"I want to live in a big city with public transportation."

Now that I'm here I recognize my naivete.

As a people watcher, who generally cannot get enough of observing, public transportation has let me down a number of ways.

#1 In such small perimeters it is really hard to watch without being caught... and to stop watching after being caught especially when they're sitting right across from you. Oh, these eyes are rebellious.

#2 During rush hours, it is standing room only and any period of time is a long time to rely on inner core strength and rubber hand loops to keep you upright and not all over the person who is standing so very close to you.

#3 While the majority of people seem to be aware of others, there is a pocket of people who are oblivious to the hoards of bodies all around them when they:

a. talk on the cell phones (answering work calls and speaking with important work voices, shoot the sh*t on the way to get antabuse while they complain about the roommate who moved out just b/c their dog pooed under her bed and that they can't move into a new apartment b/c they have a misdemeanor on their record, discuss grandma's health and what they're having for dinner)

b. put their bag next to them, taking up two seats in a standing room only train

c. laugh and giggle when their child is screaming incessantly

d. try to climb in before you can get out

e. have trouble breathing through their nose and make horrible noises when they breathe through their mouth, so much so, that as you hear the sound right behind you, you find yourself grasping for your own breath (not to worry, I saw her again and she is capable of smoking).

#4 No matter the time or circumstance I am always just missing the train I need. While the wait isn't usually more than 8 minutes, it's a long 8 minutes if:

a. it's cold outside

b. you're late to work

c. you ran to the train, pushed the "open door" button, only to watch the train pull away and use those minutes to rehash the harshness of rejection and rejection with an audience

d. you know that was the last pre-rush hour train and the next will be packed and you can kiss a seat goodbye

Unfortunately, because my public transport is almost always on cranky mornings (I mean, which work days don't start with those?) or after long work days and in small, crowded spaces, I've lost some of my excitement with analyzing people and their conversations. Currently, I most enjoy the rides when I've got my ipod and can't hear those around me, or have found something interesting to read on my blackberry. To great relief, I recently found myself in an open space with lots of people and enjoyed taking them all in and watching them be them. Phew! My passion is still there - just not with commuters.

- I should note, I've not experienced a train as crowded as the image I've included-

The Fire

2009-03-08T21:44:00.000-06:00

We went to the early service at church - it starts at 8:30. Inevitably, we always arrive late, which at out church, isn't nearly as shameful as it would be in most places.

After such an early rise, I could hardly wait to snuggle up on the couch. My eyes closed, I drifted into sweet sleepiness.... and then I heard yelling - confusing my peaceful slumber. Kids playing a game? It doesn't sound fun. A family fight? It isn't ending.

Eventually, I crawled off the couch and to the porch, walked out on the the balcony and saw a shocking sight. The apartment building across the lawn was on fire! Huge flames from the bottom apartment balcony all the way to the next balcony. The yelling? Neighbors screaming at people in floors above the flames to "GET OUT!"

There were at least 9 fire trucks/engines that sirened in to save the scene and the fire fighters put the flames out shortly after they arrived and hooked up their hoses.

The smoke billowed for a while and plenty of us gathered on the lawn to watch and take it all in.

Fortunately, no one was home in the apartment that started aflame. And no one lived the the two apartments above. Unfortunately, the family who lived there has no home.

I am even more thankful, now, that the candle I forgot to blow out, a few months ago, didn't burst into flames in this high rise apartment, but instead just flickered on and made the whole place smell good upon my return home.

2009-03-01T18:28:00.000-07:00

The story... After this short break.

bad boys bad boys... whatchya gonna do?

2009-01-08T15:10:00.000-07:00

My work neighbor (partner, as he calls me) is an ex-sheriff texan with a strong draw and a power struggle. He may be my work nemesis but the jury is still out. It’s when he calls me on the phone when he needs something, despite working in offices with paper thin walls, so I get a good surround sound effect or at the times when I truly need his assistance and he is pre-occupied with a personal cell call or an instant message conversation.

Yesterday Mr. I’ll-call-you-Miss-almost-as-direct-insult-of-your-new-Mrs.-Status asked me if I’d done any arrests or pat downs. I gave him a disturbed face, “No! I come from a county where we don’t do arrests…we call law enforcement for that!” He then explained he would be arresting a female client in his office and would need my assistance to pat her down. Perhaps I should watch someone who has been trained in such shenanigans but everyone agreed it wasn’t a big deal. “Well…. I’ve seen COPS.”

The female client wasn’t a screaming lunatic or even a safety threat. She just smelled bad. I did my obligatory pat, pleased to see she had chosen to wear shorts (avoiding the ankle touch) and her shirt was tight enough to confirm no hidden weapons. It was the under the b pat that I refused to administer. No thank you, kindly. Even after my non-frisky frisk I left the room in shame and discomfort.

2009-01-08T13:56:00.000-07:00

So the sadness of my brilliant email-to-blackberry-to-blogspot-plan has a major flaw. I can’t figure out how to post pictures, which I find so much joy in.

it's me!

2009-01-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

I know! I know!
It’s been too long!
Life has been crazy non-stop. On a weekly basis I think of things I could/should/want to blog on (don’t ask me what they all are now), but due to being a newlywed, with a busy schedule and a non-working computer, it has been impossible to keep updated.
I will attempt to write this at work (shhhh…) email it to myself on my blackberry (Merry Christmas from my husband, who understands my need and desire to stay connected) and copy and paste to the blog..
Wish me luck on this test run!

Singleton Farewells

2008-11-07T15:00:00.000-07:00

This is my last day as a Misses. These are my last few hours as a singleton. Tomorrow I will be a Mrs. and life as I know it will change. I found out just a couple weeks ago that Veteran's day parade will be marching downtown the same time we are saying our vows and taking our first kiss. As Christina optimistically pointed out - there's a chance we'll hear the marching bands pass by. Personally, I'm hoping for bagpipes if something is going to be distracting. I'd like to take my chances and run out into the parade as it marches down Tejon, after the ceremony... have a real wedding march. My dad suggested we follow some old tradition and have Matt push me around in a wheel barrow... not sure about that one.
I'm feeling pretty calm right now - maybe I'll be a gusher on the day. Time will tell. I can't wait to be his wife - so no matter what happens tomorrow, as long as we're hitched, I'll be happy.

Wish us well. I'll be excited to share stories from the other side!

Lasts...

2008-11-02T13:06:00.000-07:00

Today I attended my last service as a single at the church I have attended for 14 years! Matt and I will be going to his church in Denver...which is an entirely different kind of scene. I marked my little attendance card as "Miss" and checked the box for "single" (I then forgot to put it in the offering so the whole dramatic affect was really just for me).

Here is the final load up to Denver. I thought I'd just have a couple things to throw in the jeep for the ride up....

I had a really difficult time trying to figure out what to keep down here for this last week!

I said good-bye to my co-workers on Thursday. I was oddly emotional when the Chief asked for a hug and after I tripped and almost took a co-worker out at happy hour.

I meet my new co-workers on Monday...and Tuesday...before the time off for wedding. I have no idea what kind of work I'll be doing with this transfer to the Denver office. I am very fortunate to have slipped in right before the hiring freeze.

We'll see if I chicken out and drive in to work and pay ridiculously expensive parking prices for the first day, or if I brave it and ride the light rail in.

Big city livin' here I come!

Pillow Talk

2008-10-31T08:26:00.000-06:00

Last night, after a load up to Denver and time with my fiance, I drove back to town, to my parent's house...where I will sleep for the next 11 single nights of my life. How ironic to go from a single, kid-sized bed, to a double....along side my sister. I'm going to focus on the positive - I have 11 nights to get used to sleeping next to someone else.

Go!Go!Go!

2008-10-31T08:21:00.000-06:00

It's been crazy - wedding planning, moving, leaving my job. I feel like my brain never gets a break. There have been times where I've felt emotional - like up for a good cry, started a couple tears and then gotten distracted with something I need to do and don't even get to a good sob before I'm on to something else. The pinnacle of this insanity was the other week. Late night, early morning, late for work. GO!GO!GO!GO! I threw on my walking shoes, threw my work shoes in my bag, along with a granola bar for breakfast and my wedding planner (I feel lost without it). I race to work. I've got to get to court. I rip off my running shoes, throw on my work shoes....only to discover, to my horror! I grabbed two different shoes. Sure, they were both brown, but completely different. One with a bow at the toe, the other with swirly imprints. I ran to a co-worker's office to share the insanity. She was kind to offer her shoes, which I tried on and quickly declined, after feeling the warmth and moistness her foot left behind. I promptly strapped on my running shoes again, was out the door, back home to find a match. I am so excited to get settled into a calmer pace of life!

2008-09-28T20:51:00.000-06:00

Recently, Christina and I were driving down Tejon street on a weekday morning and both noticed the woman pushing a shopping cart up the hill fillled with non-groceries. We both exclaimed as we passed, "that's the best looking bag lady I've ever seen."It's true, she looked healthy and was dressed normally. Hmmmm, what's the story there?

I continue to walk to work. Most days, it's great. Recently, 4 other co-workers started a lunch club. After months of eating out far too often, we decided that each of us would bring in a group lunch once a week. It's brilliant really. I don't have to even think about lunch 4 days out of the week, it's portion controlled and affordable. The unfortunate part, of course, is on Wednesday nights, when I find myself wandering the grocery store aisles trying to figure out what the most unique, most affordable, best tasting meal would be... and on Thursday mornings when I lug, essentially, a one woman potluck to work.

This past Thursday, as I carried tubs of bbq beef brisket, chips, pickles, buns and some sweet treats, along with my work shoes, my wedding planner, my purse and a cup of coffee, I really wished I had my own shopping cart to load up, and stroll along Tejon street. I can hear the passerbys now, "that's a good looking bag lady."

The extremes

2008-09-15T17:01:00.000-06:00

So, I'm a crazy interneter these days, looking obsessively for cheap/better/more unique ways to do a wedding. I will fully admit my naivete at thinking planning it so soon wouldn't be too stressful. Don't get me wrong...I'll do it and I hope I do it well... but it is hands down stressful!

It's no surprise that because every bride/couple is different, so is every wedding. Here's an example of an astonishing difference... just with cakes:
Amount: $3,500.00 for the cake
Extraordinary Design
Posted by: Astrid Kipperburg-Liago in Seattle, WA.
Purchased: June, 2007
Number of Slices: 400
Cake Type: 8 Different Cake Flavors, 16 Fillins
Decorations: Extraordinary Eiffel Tower Design
Mark Caldwell of Everett Washington Created a one of a kind masterpiece for my wedding. Sharing a love for France, Mark was able to artistically re-create Paris' Eiffel Tower to an brilliant likeness. The entire cake was frosted in a light buttercream then overlayed in sculpted white chocolate. The cake was then airbrushed with gorgeous color and then finished with gold leaf. After the cake was assembled on site, Mark spiraled white rununculus, white hydrangea, white roses, white miniature cala lilies, looped beargrass and swarovski crystals. Centered on top of a satin draped round table, his creation towered just over 9 feet tall! We could not have ever dreamed of something ourselves. Our cake creator sat with us and brought our love of Paris and created the very place that my husband Bradley proposed. Thank you Mark!

Amount: $125.00 for the cake
wedding cake
Posted by: Lorianne in Atlanta, GA.
Purchased: February, 2008
Number of Slices: 3 tiered cake
Cake Type: wedding
Decorations: basic with trim
I went to the local grocery store and ordered 3 indiviual cakes a 6",8" and 12" vanilla with white frosting and red trim.. I then bought a cake stand that holds the 3 cakes on individual levels. I brought the cakes with me to the reception placed the cakes on the cake stand and then put real roses on top of each cake....I saved a bundle!!

Olympic Mania

2008-08-31T18:13:00.000-06:00

It was a random wandering on the web. I was pulled into some news article, which led me to a overview of the olympics, which had an article about Shawn Johnson, which made me wonder how old she was, which took me to some chat board. Here is the freakish american obsession I encountered on just the first page of comments regarding this young gymnist: UUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRR TTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEE BBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSTTTTTTT UR SMILE IS THE BEST:) UUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SSSSSOOOOOCCCCCCOOOOOOLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WISH I COULD SEE U .. I REALLY LUV UR SMILE U ROCK!!!!!! OMG also u can really jump U. high.....i whish i could give u a great big hug. well see ya later hope u hear this and rite back PLEASE .. as quick as you can run..hahaha.. P_E_A_C_E u r the smilely one...................................................:) congrats shawn on a job well done iam very proud i watched you performe on tv and you wrer amazing write back soon your hotttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shawn ur so incrediable High beautiful jumpper Actually your a model Wonderful smile Non stop energized beautiful girl......hahahaha you r so cool your the cooliest person ive ever seen u r P_E_R_F_E_C_E_T+O WOW ur the best.......see ya later rite back PLEASE as fast as you can run hahahaa peace........ 2292 comments - handfuls of them saying "email me" "check out my myspace." So extremely strange...and perhaps now I know what kind of fan mail the New Kids were getting so many years ago.

Engaged Life

2008-08-17T14:42:00.000-06:00

What I love about my ring:
I don't have to take it off when I wash my hands, it won't turn my fingers green!
I love to check it out in different lighting.
It's a sign/signal - "I'm taken. I'm off the market. These ribs are sold!"

What I thought I'd love but didn't:
registering. It was exhausting. Don't get me wrong, super fun to set up a pretend house, but I didn't really think about what color the bathroom should be before we arrived at Target.

What I'm tired of hearing from vendors:
"You mean THIS November?"

What I am loving:
Seeing Matt through this going-to-be-my-husband lens. He's amazing

Twofers

2008-08-07T20:53:00.001-06:00

Did I mention Christina is also engaged? Also from her stint on Eharm (as I like to call it). We are the Eharm brides - now frantically trying to plan weddings on short term engagements. Who knew it would be so impossible to find a cheap venue and throw a reasonably priced reception? Tonight - it's "Sense and Sensibility," some cookies, wine and a stack of bridal magazines.

I found him!

2008-08-07T20:20:00.000-06:00

Where do I even start?
Once I received a comment from a mysterious reader in Oregon - she encouraged me to be patient in my place of life as a single woman waiting for my Mr. Right (I couldn't for the life of me find the comment to refresh my memory). So, my Oregon reader, if you're still tuned in...I've got some exciting news for you.

"When you are in love, you want to spread the word, to tell the fish in the ocean and the lamppost on the corner and to send the news spinning itself out across continents and seas, so that all of creation might rejoice with you." Marisa De Los Santos in "Loved Walked in"

I swore I'd never do it. "Eharmony might work for SOME people...but not for me." Then Christina came home late one weeknight and said she was signing up, "you should do it!"
"oh alright!" I had read Henry Cloud's book, "finding a date worth keeping" a year prior, sorted through a lame relationship and was still challenged by his charge to be active in dating and take risks." So, at 11:00pm I committed to 3 months of my own matchmaking.

His name was Matt, he had no picture on his profile. He should have been one of the quick closes...but for some reason, we started chatting. He was intentional from the start, refreshing compared to most of my experiences. We met for coffee at Starbucks on February 12th. This next Tuesday will be our 6th month anniversary and he is now my fiance.

Despite my fears of marrying the wrong man, fear of commitment and struggle with vulnerability, I've become one of those people who says, "when you know you know."

He's an amazing man - more than I imagined when I dreamed up my Mr. Right. I can't wait to enjoy life with him, as his wife.

Lions, tigers and bears. Oh my!

2008-07-18T15:03:00.001-06:00

Matt and I went camping last weekend. We were discussing packing up camp when he said, "We need to go to the truck now!" I didn't ask any questions. "Oh dear God! It must be a man with a gun!" a logical conclusion, giving the red-neck target shooting we'd heard the previous evening and again this morning. "No....I bet it's a mountain lion!" I noticed Matt wasn't running like I would have expected him to, if, we had indeed been a mountain lion target. I decided to turn-around and see what I was supposed to be protecting myself from... A BEAR! He wasn't super close, but close enough that he could have been close, if he wanted to be. He looked around a bit and then headed the other direction...that became the sensible time to grab the camera and document this close encounter with the beast.

okay, finally...

2008-07-18T15:02:00.000-06:00

I tried to load a picture with it in the aparment...but don't get me started on the dail-up thing again!

thanks for the endless hours on my ...

2008-06-28T11:11:00.001-06:00

When I moved into my first apartment my parents gave me the couch from the basement. It had been my grandma's, remained in the basement and was rarely sat on. I have only 1 memory of the couch in its original place, some friends came over to watch "Seven" with Brad Pitt... I fell asleep (who falls asleep during movies like that?) It was a perfect first couch...once it had a slipcover. Mom and I ventured to the fabric store, found a great sage canvas material and some matching fabric for pillows and curtains. It was perfect!

Time went by, the slip cover wore, back to the fabric store. This time a brilliant red. Red was totally in (maybe still is?).

But there's something about being 29, a grown adult with a real job... the slipcover couch,now with a broken spring, more than 40 years old was no longer perfect.

Saturday, the delivery boys brought my new purchase up the 3 flights of stairs, complete with a lecture about how it would be more appropriate for me to have purchased a loveseat, given the dimensions of the stairs. It is big and comfy and dramatically changes the look of the living room.

Now if I could only get rid of the old one...without having to drag it down those flights of stairs. For now, it sits in the dining room, awaiting its demise.

2008-06-27T14:47:00.000-06:00

Instead of sleeping in and being lazy, on this day off, I met a friend at 7:00am to hike the incline. I was in deep thought, is as best while on the incline. Anything to take the mind of each grueling step. With a challenge that is so mental, it's best I have things rolling around in head to process, otherwise there are too many, "why am I doing this?" "I hate this." "I can't do this" thoughts. I rolled around random thoughts, like how dark I felt Thursday night, after a week of gossip and sin-filled conversations of judgment with co-workers. And how deception by someone else can sting and revive hurt even years after it's been done. In my thoughts, I found myself attributing my inability to pump myself up the stairs with positive self-talk as a direct result of not playing organized sports as a child. Honestly, I think this thought everytime I climb the incline. No training in seeing myself achieve a goal, no coaching to be determined to conquer something and push my physical limitations.

At that time, I started a list of things I think I've missed out on in my short life. Maybe it's the ease of blaming circumstances or childhood on adult characteristics.

I stayed in town for college and commuted for classes, that brings a whole list of things: dorm life, keggers, frat parties, toga parties, RAs, going to class in pajamas or sweats.

My prom - I've never had a conversation like, "well, it hits at my knees and has sequence along the neck line and I think I'll wear my hair like this..."

Keds - the real ones - the ones with the blue labels on the heel. We got the generic ones, sure they came in different colors but even if you did have one to match your Mt. Rushmore t-shirt, the generic ones were still worn with shame. In junior high I got a real pair - big deal - I tried to glue the blue label on when it started to fall off. Finally! A real pair and the label wants to fall off.

I've died and gone to Mexico!

2008-06-10T20:41:00.000-06:00

It started as a cheap trip with my dear friend Kristin, in celebration of our birthdays, which fall just one week apart. Over the years, we've celebrated together and we decided, in honor of her turning 30 and me turning 29, it was time to make it big. Strangely, and unexpectedly 5 friends who were invited were not only interested but able to go.
Jen had timeshare connections and got us hooked up with a beauty. It was something similar to the first show of a "RealWorld" season as we ran around the place screaming and jumping around. We had a living area, dining room table, two big rooms with big beds and sauna tubs in the bedrooms (not that they were used). Our patio faced the pools with a hint of ocean view off to the side. We even had our own dipping pool. It was amazing.

The pool was amazing with lots of different areas, nice chairs, even big beds with white canopies. The best was the lazy river which took a good 15 minutes to float through. At certain times during the day they would turn on the rapids for a little excitement.

We made a trip to Wal-mart (my disdain for the mega chain almost disappeared as I wondered the aisles and saw some of the comforts of home) where we each paid something like $20 for some basic meals and drinks, which left us with money to go all out when we went out to eat. At Wal-mart I used the ATM to get out some pesos (the exchange rate was 10:1 - should've been easy math but I found myself writing down my desired amount and literally moving the decimal to ensure I got it right). There was a sketchy guy to my side and so when the money came out I grabbed and headed off...leaving my little money card in the machine. I didn't even realize it until later that night. Fortunately, despite the opportunity for major disaster I was only inconvenienced with a cancelled card.

We went skinny dipping. And as a newbie, I'll say there wasn't a spot on the beach that seemed
nearly dark enough for me. Pandemonium as we all grabbed for our cover ups.

Kristin and I celebrated our birthdays on Saturday night. She made super cute hair clips and I got matching bracelets. 7 ladies hot to trot. Something to be said about a large group of ladies in Mexico... we were treated well. We went to dinner at Daiquiri Dick's as recommended by our concierge, Adolfo, who not only put in a good word for our fab room, but also gave us pointers on the good places to go. We got a table outside along the water and all had the pleasure of watching the sun set. The girls made sure we felt special with champagne and even a tune of happy birthday by the waiters. There happened to be a harp player who wowed us with his talent. They brought out cake and flaming shots....which is where pandemonium (again) broke forth. I managed to knock my flaming shot and as the alcohol poured out along the tablecloth and my lap so did the flame. With my napkin I patted out the fire (preventing the visions of marbled burned skin I saw in my head) and a waiter was quick to get out the rest. We caused quite a scene at that quiet, romantic restaurant with our fire and screaming. I thought I had gotten out of the shot, phew, particularly seeing Kristin's pain when she got hers down, until they came out with another one for me, this one not flaming but still so hot in my mouth.

We went dancing at a club called the "Zoo" where one of my honest friends pointed out we dance old. When did that happen?

We took the bus into Puerto Vallarta where we got to see some of the town and do some shopping at the flea market. I hated the bartering, mostly because I had no idea how much things should be costing. I fell into anti shopping mode (why does that always happen at the worse times?) and decided I didn't really need anything. We ate a Pipi's because it was suggested by wise Adolfo and because we had a coupon stating our second margarita would be free. Nobody needs a second gigantic margarita?! But we got 4 for more to go (should there be concern, be relieved they were dumped shortly after leaving Pipi's).

We took an excursion that included snorkeling (except the water was totally cloudy and I saw nothing but my hands under the water) and a stop to the island of Yelapa. I took a walk with our tour guide to the falls and heard about how the island had only in the last 5 years gotten running water and electricity. There were mangos growing and hibiscus flowers. We saw a woodshop where a man had taken over as the third generation working with rosewood taken down the island's mountain by mule. It was great to sneak a peak into some grassroots living after days in the resort life.

My second excursion, with Kristin, was the amphibian assault tour. We waited in a random gas station to be picked up by a stranger, who drove us out of town for a while. I didn't say it out loud, but wondered how much he'd get for our bodies. After passing through more "real mexican life" we arrived to a ranch where we loaded up on 8 wheeled atvs and took them on a dirt path until we reached a river bed where we did our best to drive fast, turn sharply and get wet and dirty. The gray haired couples called us the maniacs. When we got back to the ranch we sat at a little hut and tasted 9 tequila's and learned a little more about how the good stuff is made. And to think all this time I've limited myself to Jose.

Our last night (and one of my most favorite experiences) we traveled back into PV to the Westin Hotel where there is a restaurant outside, also along the ocean, where you sit on beds in the sand. It was posh...and it couldn't have hurt that after primping and even taking photos practicing our movie star poses, that the host said, "So, there are 7 of you movie stars." Well, we didn't want to cause a scene but.....
We had a great dinner and then made ourselves at home and danced on our bed...and around the bed....and along the water. It was so fun! My married friends swore that these are only girlfriend type of adventures...dancing recklessly and owning the night. That was until the bill came... my water was $5. Sometimes you pay for memories. I'm still going to say it was worth it.

On this adventure I discovered that I can totally enjoy a lazy vacation without an agenda or guilt and fear of missing things because I slept in. I discovered I really do love the sun and am sad to watch my sun glow slowly fade with each day back in real life. I love the sand between my toes, particularly the feeling of the grains running past my feet as the wave pulls it away from me. I was shocked that by the end hanging out in my swimsuit was totally comfortable. I discovered, despite my fears, that 7 grown women can have a great week, enjoy each other's company and differences without any chick drama.

29 is feeling mighty fine!

2008-06-10T19:32:00.000-06:00

It has been a whirlwind of activities but let me say that my 29th year began on May 25th and so far... things are looking really good for this last year of a decade.

I started the day with breakfast with Schelau and Matt at Mimi's - mmmmm, buttermilk spice muffins. We all rode together to church and on the way we saw a tragic accident. We're talking dead bodies in the road. Plenty of time has passed, so this will be shared with far less emotion but I felt, intensely, the reality of how short life is. There is truth in the cliche "life is short" and "live everyday like it's the last." I really feel like this is something to pursue this year... I can look back and see how lackadaisically I have pursued my faith and sharing it with others. I need to feel some urgency in my purpose on this earth. So....if any of you don't know Jesus... let's chat.

The afternoon was chill and then the family (and boyfriends!) had dinner at the Macaroni Grill. Again...mmmmmm.
A group of friends met at the BlueStar for wine. Despite having called earlier in the week and being told they could accommodate us, we arrived to find they had nowhere to put 12 people. They gave us a tennis racket, a way for them to pick us out of the crowd when our table was ready. I was relieved they didn't hand me the sombrero. After an hour of patiently waiting and seeing no sign of hope toward progress we bailed. My friends were so patient and kind. Matt took the racket hostage and we were out. When we arrived at 15C disgruntled and talking of how the BS has lost some good business, the bartender at 15C told us the owner called over and said he'd cover a healthy tab. Nice! So, we drank and laughed on the house....now what to do with the racket!
It was a great day and I'm looking forward to a great year.

~while passing a storefront on Bijou, after a few glasses of wine this was the funniest thing I had ever seen. Even now I know I was right to think it would be something I would need to share with others. Enjoy....

and to my left you'll see....

2008-05-23T16:37:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the small town of Herrington - the tour will now begin.

If you take a good look around, you'll notice no chain stores. That's right folks, one of the few remaining all-american towns with no fast food joints or mega drugstores. You may also find how very dependant you've become to chain-america living.

This town is proud of the railroad that runs through it. There is much excitement over the bridge that will cross over the railroad, which will eliminate future decades of waiting to get to the "other side of the tracks."

Tonight, let's peek into this high school graduation party award ceremony. What you might find is that your extended family isn't as standout as you expected (despite uncle M wearing the shortest shorts you've ever seen on a man), as you watch a woman with no undergarments tromping up and down the gym bleachers, running to and from the bathroom with or without her dirty 3 yr/old, sometimes talking in a loud whisper. If we stay here long enough tonight, you too can be mesmerized by the small town phenomenon of having the same classmates from kindergarten on. Let's listen as they share stories from the second grade. I think you'll see that Missy - the star student - will stand up at least a dozen times to receive awards and scholarships for her grades, performance and involvement in community activities. If you stay too long you might become secretly obsessed with her life and whether the other students love her or hate her and how she will do in college when she's one of thousands and not just 1 in 30.

Over to the right, you'll notice Ms. X - the cool teacher. The teacher who probably supplies all the kids with their alcohol. Let's listen as she presents an award. "This girl was my gossip girl! She always kept me up to date on the latest..... and this girl is the fastest text messager I know!!!" hug, hug

Look into the crowd to see the class's bad boy. He smirks and rolls his eyes. He is literally too cool for school... and his parents own the local real estate business.

If we take a stroll through this little town - you'll notice all of the closing warnings. That's right. Here, the whole place shuts down for the local high school's graduation. Barnes (the grocery store) will be closed. OMG (the local second hand store) will not open today because the grand-daughter is graduating.

If we take a drive outside of town, to the next largest city we can grab a bite to eat....or not. Oddly enough, the A&W has run out of meat. That's right. The hamburger restaurant has no hamburger. If you choose to stop at Denny's you may be overcome by the smoke floating throughout the entire restaurant and may be shocked to remember Colorado's smoking ban has only been in effect for a short time. If lucky, you will taste nicotine in the pancakes.

And if you're really lucky, you will see your grandfather cross the stage at 81 and watch as this sleepy, tiny town rises in a standing ovation.

I'm in the mood for...

2008-05-22T14:08:00.000-06:00

So what road trip is complete without a gas store trinket? Christina spotted the mood rings and beckoned me over. "$1.95 for a mood ring? - what a steal!" I promptly bought one for each of us (Cadena - hate to ruin the surprise but give it time - you'll have your own mystical ring in no time). I haven't had such an interactive piece of jewelry in like, ever! I find myself gazing at it throughout the day and I get excited when I see extreme changes in the colors within minutes. I went from a calm dark blue to, wow, a pearly green - whatever could this mean?!

Herrington

2008-05-17T17:12:00.001-06:00

Greetings from Kansas. This is a family road trip update. Mom, dad, Christina and myself have taken a trip to see 81 year old grandpa Trusty get his high school diploma (oldest student in the state of Kansas)! Cadena - we miss you! I mostly miss being forced to sit in the middle, only because I am the middle child, and being harassed by you both about my feet and legs being in your way.... and sharing a fun dip with you.

So, if all goes well there will be some photos to share.
So far we've just been driving (I've managed to log some quality shut eye). We stopped at the Russell Stover's factory today (don't believe the sign that beckons with free samples, it's mostly a lie) and we had a fatty chicken lunch - yum! Currently hanging out at gramp's place (he's got a much faster internet service than I have ever dreamed of) getting ready to go to a small town high school awards ceremony. The real excitement will begin tomorrow... rumor has it the news might be out here - smile for the cameras!

Thursday

2008-05-15T09:43:00.000-06:00

Today's walk to work was a little crazy. It is cold and damp so I wore a sweater and two blocks into it, overheated. The wind was crazy; I saw my reflection in a tinted bank window and wondered why I had bothered doing my hair and spending so much time trying to get some volume, as I could see it was flying around my head.

I stopped into the Starbucks (I've officially stopped trying to make my own coffee in the mornings). This woman practically attacked me. "Oh my gosh! I just LOVE your bag! Where ever did you get your bag?!?!" I was taken aback. It is a nice bag - thanks to my friend Kristin for this birthday gift, but not the kind of bag people stop you to ask about. "oh, thanks" "WHERE did you get IT?!?!" "umm, it was a gift, maybe Old Navy or Target?" I was still smoothing out my crazy windblown hair.... and then I saw it, the button's gold sheen shining in the light of the Starbucks track lighting. Then it came, "WELL! I am with Mary Kay and I would just LOVE to give you a free facial!"

I felt dirty and used instantly. She didn't like my bag! A younger Jana would have felt obligated to give her my info, then get a facial, or avoid her phone calls. Not today - today I thought, you can't go around giving people false compliments, then trying to get their business. She didn't take my first "no" and I had to explain to her that I had already used her product, that it was no good for me and that I was not interested... that I would not be contributing toward her pink Cadillac.

Purple is the new green

2008-05-07T19:45:00.000-06:00

In effort to save on gas, do my part to ward off the evils of global warming, and because the parking garage is closed downtown (which would result in me walking just as far if I drove and had to search for a parking spot on the street), I've been walking to work. It's been fabulous. I get some fresh air in morning, a little exercise and a chance to start my morning in a less hurried way (one can only walk so fast). So far, the weather has been accommodating. Some mornings I stop for coffee, some I listen to my ipod and others I take note of the new displays in the cute boutiques. I am okay being the lady in the sneakers with a skirt on, or in flip flops with my suit...
This morning was a little less glamorous... with the downpour I had to plan ahead. I shouldn't wear any dry clean only pants - they'd get soaked. I shouldn't wear a normal coat - it would be heavy and wet. I shouldn't wear my sneakers - they would get squeaky. I went for a skirt and my chacos, with a fashionable hoodie rain pull-over. It was a struggle to find a working umbrella and I was on my way. I will admit I was a little nervous to leave my umbrella at the door of Starbucks today - it was a rough crowd. Would one of them run off with my umbrella for their own protection? Thank goodness it was still sitting there after my conversation with some guys decked out in camouflage wanting to discuss their surprise at the price of a coffee maker, "for that much, that thing had better drive!"
My fault today was that I didn't account for the temperatures. It was cold and I could barely feel my toes by the time I arrived at the courthouse. I think I might look into some rain boots for this spring season.

Happy Birthday!

2008-05-06T21:10:00.000-06:00

In honor of a close friend and faithful reader....

Happy 30th Birthday Schelau!

You are now 30, flirty and thriving!

Earth Day

2008-04-23T22:28:00.000-06:00

What a way to spend an earth day!Last night Christina and I did "our part." We finally recycled the wine bottles from our super fab wine party months ago. We'd also collected a good stack of cardboard and some old phone books. We went to the recycling center last night - night trips to the scary parts of town are not recommended. There was some difficulty deciding if one of us should stay in the car with it running...just in case. Christina was the brave runner...literally sprinting from the jeep to the dumpsters with our trash. I would prefer not to know what little impact my recycling has, as I'm sure I would be disappointed. We picked up a few laundry baskets at the dollar store and will continue our recycling efforts. Sunday I went to the grocery store and remembered to take a couple reusable shopping bags. Everything I bought fit into my saks (I won't talk here about an article I read about paper vs plastic and how the author said it really didn't matter which, b/c changing or eliminating either would have little impact on the environment). But there is something really special about doing your part. We're going to do ours.This earth day I can be proud. As my friend Vicki said, "Now, we are not earth worshipers, just helping to care for what God created for us, it feels good." Vicki, if you were around, I'd give you a solid, green chest bump. Good work my fellow recycler.

D*mn Shoes

2008-04-18T17:03:00.000-06:00

I got dressed in a hurry today - stood at my closet for a bit trying to figure out what shoes to wear. Comfortable? Nah, I just got a pedicure last night. I should wear my peep toe black shoes and flash some of this toe color. I was working at my desk when the judge (robe off and in hand) comes into my office. "I have one of your cases in my courtroom. Can you come over on it?" "Sure, I'll be right over." Probation being in the court, my office being just feet from my judge's courtroom, can be really handy for time management, but impromptu revocation hearings? I ask him who it is on... he doesn't remember the name. I walk to his courtroom with just my pen in hand. Why my pen? I don't know... I didn't want to go empty handed. There he is in his orange jumpsuit - a guy who disappeared from me a while ago, despite him getting a second chance on probation that he really didn't deserve. I shoot from the hip while explaining he deserves jail. I also explain that because I don't have his file, I can't give a recommendation for specific time because I don't know his criminal history. The judge then requests that I go get the file... I unprofessionally exit the courtroom with a, "I'll be right back." I walk quickly down the busy carpeted hallway... until I hit the marble floor with my left foot, at which time my left foot slips, gives way...and I go down. All the way down... on my HANDS and KNEES! I am on all fours, with my hair in my face, for what I hope is only seconds and am afraid I squealed out some loud sound, just in case the scene had gone unnoticed. I hear an attorney bark, "you alright?" I pop up, "yep, I'm fine" and I literally gimp off, dragging my poor little left ankle down the hallway. Ironically, one of my first thoughts is that I am in prime surveillance area and fear that some security guard has noticed what just occurred and will be sure to replay the incident for himself....and all his buddies. D*mn shoes. I think I have no choice but to toss them if I ever get home safely.

Dial Up

2008-04-14T21:02:00.000-06:00

Uncle Sam has paid up and I am currently in a situation with some extra funds (I know, claiming zero is ludicrous but I don't mind Unkie making interest off my money, if it wasn't for the government holding my funds, it would have been spent on big macs and itunes months ago. The government is my savings account...what could be wrong with that?). After an evening on my parent's computer (is it rude to excuse yourself from company to enjoy high speed connection?) I'm thinking now is the time to invest in a real computer with a real internet connection. Have we discussed the woes of dial-up?

All this to say that uploading photos is a snap...so here are some recaps:

Here are those valentine's day projects I talked about

Here's a picture from a solo hike at Garden of the Gods

Dad made a home brew... it turned out pretty good. The pale ale went down easy considering it was brewed in the garage. He had a little shindig and showed off his new talent/hobby. Here he is...proud of his fermenting skills.

And I think the black bar speaks for itself here:

Rest in the Room

2008-04-10T20:03:00.000-06:00

There is an employee bathroom just feet from my office. It is a large bathroom, the kind where the toilet sits furthest away from the door and the door is so far away that if for some reason you got distracted and forgot to lock the door, there would be no way to prevent exposure once you heard the click of the knob. Even a scream would take a while to travel across the room to the intruders ear. In the bathroom, some ladies have contributed to a collection of Mary Kay hand lotions and magazines. There is also a scale, which I admit, I hop onto frequently. The odd thing about this women's restroom if that everytime I go to use it, the magazines have been moved. This morning, someone had turned to the article about Keith Ledger. This afternoon the Entertainment Weekly was cracked to an article about the Desperate Housewives. I am wondering to myself....who actually plops down and gets caught up on hollywood gossip in the work bathroom? Or have they found this article so riveting, there is a need to share it with others. Just today, on my way back from court, I rushed to bathroom with some urgency. The door was locked...and no one exited for a while. I eventually had to give up and work my way quickly to another restroom. There was some bitterness that while I was suffering through a mini-emergency, someone was hanging out and catching up on Britney.

If it itches...

2008-04-10T20:01:00.000-06:00

There was a chair in the long hallway today. I wondered why it was there, and proceeded to pass by it several times today. It wasn't until a co-worker came by to ask if I had disinfectant spray that I began to wonder what would require a good cleansing. And then I heard the spray of the can and smelled the familiar scent of the fresh linen lysol. And then I heard another co-worker as the disinfector, "So, I'm curious. Why is this chair in the hallway?" "Because I had a guy come in here with scabbies."My head itches. My neck itches.

Training

2008-03-28T11:02:00.000-06:00

So time has passed and my passions about my miserable week in training have faded. I will share some of the highlights from my experience:
Day 1-3
I am shocked to see a couple of women who are out of touch with the times. One wears a red t-shirt with a pocket on the chest, along with some stretchy pants. The other has taken a lot of time to perfect her bangs... I know this from personal experience; it's not easy to get that much height without some time and some rave. I am only slightly relieved when I find out they are from less populated rural counties.

I am sitting through this training to address substance use. We discuss the buzz words: misuse, abuse, dependency. Should I be concerned that my neighbor smells like alcohol? It wasn't until a co-worker on the other side of her mentioned it to me that it hit me in the face. Maybe she's been taking more than a smoke break.

There are a group of people from my district and I am shocked and kind of embarrassed that J keeps talking about our division like it's back woods - no resources, no good referrals, with an ignorant bench. I am more annoyed and less embarrassed by day 3 when I realize the guy would and could complain about anything. He likes to hear himself talk. There are several of these kinds of people in this training. They have their soapboxes, their causes and they go on....and on....

I do find some entertainment, from the dull training and long winded rants, with exchanged glances with a co-worker. With one look we both knew exactly our sentiments and it is always good to know you're not the only one dying. We bonded through that experience... I will now call her a friend.

On my first day, after a long day, I headed to my hotel. The Ramada Inn. I looked it up online, as someone else had actually made the reservation. I arrived to find that the photographer had been extremely creative. The lobby did have an impressive front desk, but what had appeared to be the lounge was really a collection of chairs. I was sent to a room that required a drive around "The Knights Inn" motel: total sketch. The hotel is set up motorway inn style with each room facing the lot. I enter my room to find decor from 1982 and remnants of gum that had made its way well into the carpet. So much for relaxing in a comfy room for a week. This was going to be tough. My stay was short, after a long night of partyers next door I left the Ramada and hope to never return.

Day 3-4:
New set of co-workers, new set of training. This time, we all take up the full back row of the conference room like the bad kids in class. This training was a bit more interesting with a game of "big hands." There was a woman with extremely large extremities and as she waived and moved them about, we all got the giggles. I know, immature and cruel (I will avoid your judgment by not telling you how the goal was to get a picture of them and at one point there may be been at least 4 phones out and ready).

Upon arrival, finding that "breakfast provided" only meant mini-muffins and sub par coffee, a co-worker and I went on the hunt for a Starbucks. We found a Safeway. On my way down the chip aisle I felt my left foot slip. The next thing I knew, my hair was in my face, I was suddenly at the eye level of, not chips, but rice patties, and I felt like a pretzel. Upon realizing that I was, indeed, still alive I did the next logical thing, look up...sure enough there is a chip stocker just standing and staring at the mess of me in a pile on the shiny, slick floor. I collect myself and begin the struggle of pulling myself up...like a lady and mumble something about slippery floors. Somehow I managed to scrape a good portion of the top of my right foot, presumably from my left foot flailing and accosting it. To this day, we are still in the healing stages.

We (everyone from the district - 7), decided we'd eat lunch together on the break. After some trouble finding a restaurant, we then had terrible service. By the time we had eaten and paid our bills we would have been late to the next session. What happened next was strange. All 7 adults decided it might be best just to skip the next session instead of arriving late and causing a distraction. What happened next was disappointing. We had no idea what to do with ourselves. We (in 2 separate vehicles) followed each other down main thoroughfares, looking for something to do. We ended up at a coffee shop. It was horribly anti-climatic. And all this time, I thought all the cool kids who skipped were having great times... maybe not.

The last thing to say about training is the difference between a bunch of probation officers, who listen, get on soapboxes when they like, and challenge what the speaker presents. We're skeptical...it's what we do. In contrast, counselors are like an audience of baptist worshipers. They might as well be saying, "amen." "Oh!" they can't believe certain statistics. "No!" they are shocked by stories on injustice. And some of them (big hands in particular) treat this training as their own individual session, hollering out input, shouting out "that's right!" and adding their two cents even when it isn't encouraged.

Good Day for a Guinness

2008-03-18T21:47:00.000-06:00

St. Patrick's Day is one of the best holidays of the year (falling behind all of the religious ones, of course, that celebrate Jesus). What's not to love about people pulling out their kelly green shirts and sweaters, an occasional green boa, having a green beer or a Guinness, singing Irish tunes and embracing that great Irish saint who taught Christianity by using a shamrock to represent the trinity?Last night I was invited to join Schelau and some friends at Jack Quinn's. It is where I have celebrated every St. Patrick's Day since I was 21 (except for that one year when S and I chose to celebrate in Denver because we thought the big city would bring more excitement...and it did... a crazy blizzard). I drove past Jack Quinn's and saw a line out the door. My thought: it couldn't possibly be worth it. I'll be forced to stand in line with some strangers in the freezing cold, probably have to pay a cover and then fight to order my Guinness that will be served luke warm in a plastic cup. I called it a night. My partying days are sporadic if not gone.Several years ago a line out the door would have meant it was going to totally rock on the inside...obviously because people are waiting to get in. A cover would have meant that the entertainment would be better or that only the committed would be on the other side of the door and the luke warm beer would've gone down so fast I wouldn't have noticed.

Cable

2008-03-14T20:03:00.000-06:00

I've been out of town for the last week. What? an exciting trip? a vacation? I'm afraid it was just a long week of training in Denver. I've got a lot to say... hopefully I can share over the next couple of days.
To start: My skanky stay at the Ramada Inn gave me a window into the world of cable. I didn't have the tv on longer than 30 minutes and this is what I saw. Forgive me if this is old news to you, see "Bubbled" for an explanation of my ignorance.

Did you know that Flava Flav has his own TV show? In the bits of an episode I saw, he was in a hot tub with twins... and other ladies were fighting for his affections. Flava Flav (and the intrigued viewer audience) was shocked when one of the contestants tried to entice him by feeding him pigs feet. I know! He was disgusted too!

On MTV there is a show called "My Amore" where some tiny, unattractive italian man plays the role of the bachelor. I was horrified to watch as two women (both gorgeous. a brunette with long skinny legs. a blonde with a perfect body) cried and convulsed as they each waited to receive a token of his interest. No, not a rose. It was a cheap plastic Italian flag that the chosen clung to their breasts. I was repulsed that these women even cared. I don't know if it was the competition to win or the fear of rejection with an audience but whatever it was, it wasn't logical. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate the power of a foreign accent, but let's not lose total focus ladies.

My Little Memories

2008-03-01T21:01:00.000-07:00

Have you gotten that email forward? The one that lists (and if you're lucky has pictures) some of the highlights of growing up in the 80's? For me, the email is a fast, super packed jog through memory lane. He-man, popples, the smurfs. Man oh man what a glorious childhood.

There are others like me, who love to reminisce over those fond childhood icons. Heck, just recently a group of women I work with went on and on about the possibility of The New Kids on the Block going on tour. Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised when I was recently at a concert where I spotted a females tattooed arm with a scene of a care bear playing the guitar and in the same field, a my little pony... but I was.

Mail Order

2008-03-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

The other night I was at Dillard's. Hello?! Can we super duper deals? I was in and around a dressing room where this older loud man was talking non-stop... the kind of guy who has a comment and opinion about everything and it is supposed to be funny - but isn't. I hear him say to a woman, "What? You're only coming out of the dressing room with one thing? I need you for a wife." I can hear him say something to his wife about how he doesn't like the way something fits. I don't think much of it, because I am caught up in my own search for a steal. He starts conversation with a young guy, also waiting for his wife and I am a little disturbed by the power of loud man and his influence over the young guy. It isn't until I head to the dressing room myself that I see loud man's wife. A beautiful blonde. She comes out in a lacey top and asks her loud other half what he thinks. He is totally unimpressed and says something like, "well, where you going to wear that?" What is gorgeous lady doing with loud man? It can't be because he's a great guy. Or that he treats her well. She even has an exotic foreign accent. Doesn't she notice he's over weight and wearing dated glasses? Not to mention that he's rude and loud. Loud man says to young guy, "My wife's from Siberia."

Rocky Mountain Horror Picture Show

2008-03-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

Last night someone rang our door buzzer. After more than 3 years at this downtown apartment, we've learned some lessons. Never assume it is someone who has forgotten their key, or have a good reason for buzzing. To include examples would be time consuming. I got out of bed, pushed the "talk" button. This can be an easy way to figure out what's going on down below, because you can hear. No noise. It wasn't until the female cop walked down the stairs that I realized it may have been best to at least ask who was down there. What followed was confusing and somewhat uneventful from the view of our top floor window. Two girls, scared. Some talk of blood. Hyper vigilant Christina concluded there was a wounded animal (which, to note, was a little less dramatic than her suggestion that someone committed suicide the other night when she heard a loud bang in the middle of the night). Wounded animal. Back to bed. It wasn't until I went downstairs to do laundry early this morning that I realized much more had transpired......WARNING!!! IF YOU HAVE A WEAK DISPOSITION OR ARE MY MOTHER, DO NOT LOOK AT THE FOLLOWING PHOTOS.

A call to the CSPD surmised there was a break in of the basement apartment (which is currently being refinished); the suspect cut herself on glass but was obtained and presumably charged with burglary. In a conversation with the neighbors, they shared their theory it was a drunken female who broke in and that there are bloody shoes in a car in the parking lot and paperwork indicating the recent release from Cedar Springs. Neighbor lady thinks it was intentional and the drunken woman was looking for someone in particular. ... dun dun dun......

Bubbled

2008-02-18T10:04:00.000-07:00

I was invited to a co-worker's house last night for a "beer and board games" party. I'm not much of a boardgamer but was excited to be invited to this elitest group. After arriving and making a plate of some great food - we all made our way to the basement where the big screen tv was. They pulled out the wii games. A night of "Guitar Hero." As I announced to them when they encouraged me to take my turn, my gaming days ended with atari. I am so behind the times, I feared it would be hard for the group to watch me struggle. In addition to high-tech games that just about everyone had played before, there were conversations I tried to take part of about crazy cable shows involving rock stars with names I didn't even recognize.... I haven't had cable since I lived at home with my parents. Never before had I felt the distance between me and the rest of world so glaringly... I might as well have been homeschooled!

Love is in the air

2008-02-13T21:13:00.000-07:00

As Valentine's Day approaches, this single chick isn't feeling sorry for herself...
I sent out valentine's day cards to my ss girls. It was fun! I only wish they all had construction paper mail boxes I could deliver them each to.
I have made cupcakes for work tomorrow complete with pink and red sprinkles...why not share the love?
And goodie bags for some of my friends. It was a great creative outlet and a way to share the love.
And... if you wonder what's going on with the fellas....let me tell ya.
I get a phone call at work from a male:
Male: Hey, how are YOU doing?
Me: Good - who is this?
Male: This is John Lovah (names have obviously been changed for the protection of Mr. Lovah)
Me: How's it going John ? Things going alright?
Mr. Lovah: Yeah, things are going real good, staying out of trouble...one of my buddies is on your caseload.
Me: Really? Keeping good company are you?
Mr. Lovah: So... have you got yourself a boyfriend or a husband yet?
A confused Me: Excuse me?
Mr. Lovah: You have a boyfriend or husband?
An offended Me: Did you call me for personal information?
Mr. Lovah: Well I'm not calling you for legal reasons, I'm not on probation anymore.
A shocked Me: Well! I'm not giving you information about my personal life!
A disappointmed Mr. Lovah: Oh.
A done Me: Glad to hear you're doing well. Goodbye.

A bit of a scene

2008-02-13T20:49:00.000-07:00

I remember being a child and while my mom was at a woman's retreat my dad had a break down. The pots and pans were disorganized (and I imagine there were all kinds of others stressors) and he got so irritated he pulled them all from the cabinet onto the kitchen floor. If I remember correctly, we were then ordered to put them away...

Christina and I have opposing ideas of how tupperware should work. I feel strongly that if I want to put something in a plastic tub, the top and bottom should be easy to find...easy to match. So, in my ideal kitchen tops and bottoms are paired together, like couples. Christina is more of a free spirit. She likes to stack bottoms with bottoms and tops with tops. I will not attempt to explain why this seems like a better idea to her...because I can't undertsand the logic. This morning while trying to put together a lunch I grabbed a bottom, threw some spinich in it, some carrots and then began the daunting task of trying to find the right top for my bottom. To no avail. Rrrrrrrraarrrrr. I felt the rage build inside and then I reminded myself that I was getting upset about tupperware! I threw the salad into another bottom and grabbed its found top.

Tonight, I emptied the dishwasher. I put the silverware away, plates and mugs. Then I swung the lazy susan tupperware drawer open and began to attempt to stack lids on lids and bottoms on bottoms. Chaos insued. Things were sliding, some falling into the back of the drawer. Rrrrrrarrrr. That nasty rage (which may or may not be hormone induced) got the better of me and I lost it...and just as I had seen my father do so many years before, shoved those darned disobediant tupperware lids and bottoms to the floor. That'll teach them.

Psssst... thanks dad for allowing me to retell your story. I do it not out of judgment but as an awareness that those kinds of reactions to life (and unruly kitchenware) is pretty normal...at least for you and me and my caseload.

Psssst... notice the photo I have chosen represents the ideal organization of tupperware - the coupling system.

Tick Tock Tick Tock

2008-02-06T17:06:00.000-07:00

I have become concerningly sappy regarding other people's children. Recently, during the western stock show rodeo, I teared up as I watched the clown beckon his son from the sidelines. He was dressed just like his strange clown dad and mirrored dad's every move. His dad put his hat on the dirt floor, so did son. Dad did a head stand, he bent all the way over trying to pick up his hat with his head (just as dad did) and the crowd cheered when he finally stood up, hat on head. I got all kinds of choked up. I think I looked over at my grandchildless dad and apologized for not gifting him with a grandson.
A friend was over with her two sons. Little Ethan hollered to his mom, "mom! do you hear that?!" "what is it son?" "mom! It's our song!" I don't even remember what top 40 hit he associated with his mother but I can tell you it was the sweetest thing I've ever seen... and got all kinds of choked up.
Earlier this week, a judge sent out an email inviting us (I made the list...yes!) to come by his chambers for some cookies, explaining his kids made cookies... again. Today he made his rounds with the last couple and explained everytime it snows, his kids greet him at the door when he comes home and beg him to help them make cookies. My heart melted.
My new co-worker next door took a phone call and I could hear him talking to his young daughter..."can you take a nap for daddy? so we can play when I get home from work? take a nap for daddy, tiny." So stinking precious!
Just today, my last appointment told me when he got home the other night, his son was decked out with a sweatband around his forehead and a crib sheet tied around his neck and that he was "Super hero Soto." Dad says to me, who is Soto? Heck if I know, but it sounds cute as can be to me!

Snowshoeing

2008-01-30T20:51:00.000-07:00

Despite having lived here for over a decade now, I still haven't gotten the hang of downhill skiing or snowboarding. Last year I really tried to embrace snowboarding, but at what point (after you've spent most of the time on your backside and wet in the snow) do you throw the towel in... I'm not saying it's in for good, but this year I wanted to find a winter sport I could enjoy and not resent. To my rescue? Snowshoeing. It is a great cardio workout for all the major muscle groups and instead of fighting against gravity or biffing it, I get to take deep breaths and take in the surroundings. I am loving it!

Kristin and I went to Mueller state park on Monday and despite the frigid weather, managed to work up a good sweat. Even better, we finished our adventure with a couple beers at Buck's, my new favorite bar in Woodland Park.

On Saturday I went up to Breckenridge with Neesha and Schelau where we took advantage of the gorgeous day and great nordic center.

I may learn to be a snow bunny afterall.

Stock Show

2008-01-30T20:40:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe another year has come and gone. The best part about the start of a new year aside from fresh starts and resolutions???? the stock show. Like clockwork every January. As I've said before, I love it. This year the rodeo was kicking with extra fiesty bullriding.
We (christina, dad and me) know the stockshow. We know where to find the Bluemoon, the art gallery and the kettle corn. The only thing that changes from year to year is where we eat (this year burritos) and which hat my dad will purchase (this time the professional bull riders got his money). We had a great time.

The war of two

2008-01-27T10:36:00.000-07:00

The parts of me:

I have come to the realization that I struggle with myself. Mostly because there are different kinds of me.... and before we all diagnose me as having multiple personality disorder, let me explain myself. There is a before and an after Jana. Or better yet, an evening (EJ) and a morning Jana (MJ). And they do not get along. Mostly because MJ despises EJ which is the direct result of EJ being horribly selfish and lazy.

For instance, EJ thinks, "hmmm I should probably pick out my clothes for work tomorrow. Nah, I'll just let MJ handle that."
"hmmmm, I should probably write the check for that bill tonight so I can put it in the mail tomorrow...nah, MJ can totally get up early or take a short shower and make sure it gets where it's going."
"I should probably take out the trash...but it's so cold. I'll just run down on my way out the door tomorrow."
Needless to say, in the morning, before work, with a list of things to get done before racing out the door and to my job, MJ curses EJ. "Darn you evening Jana, I can't get this all done this morning! Why do you have to be so lazy? Don't you think of anyone but yourself!"

Perhaps you can imagine the tension building.....which inevitably leads to self-hatred (that and an unpaid bill, trash that needs to be taken out, or 15 minutes standing at the closet)...not a pretty thing.

I'm going to go ahead and post this, so I/EJ can get to bed early and hopefully I/MJ will have plenty of sleep and tomorrow we all wake up on the right side of the bed.

But Baby It's Cold Outside

2008-01-19T21:31:00.000-07:00

It's been a year since my jeep was stolen. I barely remember the trauma...and the bitterness when it was returned a mess and I had just gotten used to the comfy rental. Things had been going fairly well. Last Sunday, when I arrived 30 minutes late to church, no one would've known it was because my jeep stalled at a light, then wouldn't restart so I had to sit and wait and try a couple more times. Concerning but probably just a fluke.
On Wednesday, I drove up to Denver to see a concert (Ingrid Michaelson - got to love her!). It was cold outside and I knew it would be a chilly drive. I wore a couple of layers, including a down vest under a coat...and froze the whole way up and the whole way back. Despite the heater being on full force, it wasn't putting out any heat. At all. Miserable! I find myself in the same position I was a year ago. If I got a new vehicle what would I get? Is it time to put this old clunker to rest? Is it time to take a toasty ride? Or be the one to offer to drive?

Overheard...

2008-01-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

in Starbucks just this morning near a group of young female highschoolers.

"Do you like know who is dating Scott? Because I was like talking to Bethany and she was like talking about they have sex on the weekends and stuff." "OMG really?!"

"My mom is like totally not letting me stay home - 'cause she like caught on that I would fake sick. OMG, you'd think she would've figured it out like a year ago."

Gymbeau

2008-01-03T22:17:00.000-07:00

I've seen him around for a while now. But just yesterday I saw him at the gym (I used to call him my gym boyfriend, because I'd see him there and thought he was attractive - but we've totally broken up since then) and then at Starbucks on my way to work! I like to think he doesn't notice me because I look remarkably different when I'm coiffed than when I'm sweating and grunting at the gym. Once, I met him. I was out with a co-worker and her friends, who knew him... and we met. But after that, no acknowledgement that we could now see each other and smile or say hello. I mean we seriously have the potential to be good friends. I see him when I take a walk downtown during lunch. I see him driving his car while a friend and I run down what may be his street. I see him at the watering hole if I go out with friends. It's very awkward... I don't like it one bit. Mostly because I'm not sure if he's stalking me... or if he thinks I'm stalking him.

New Year, Old Flicks

2008-01-03T21:40:00.000-07:00

What better way to start a new year than with some classics? It was mostly the result of Christina and I heading to Entertainmart one Sunday after church. There's little inviting about the this mega used media store... but little treasures in each aisle. After searching the used cds for some of the coolest music ever (which of course wasn't there because none of the other cool people who know of the bands had purged the great cds from their collections) we mosied over to the VHS videos. A steal of a deal at just $1.99 we went through every last aisle searching through decades of productions. And did we find some treasures?!

Over Christmas, as a family, we watched "Sneakers." Classic! In comparison, our viewing of "The Man with One Red Shoe" was loaded with archaic computer scenes/references. "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" was on tv; I don't think I'd seen it since it came out. While watching I felt my 10 year old excitement stir inside. I totally remember when they slide down the grass and it looks so fun, or when they find the oatmeal cookie in the yard and then tame the ant, and when the girl (who was so cool back in the day, which is strange because her hair is horrible and she is wearing that sad pale pink the whole movie) is dancing around with the mop.

New Year's Day was a treat, starting my year with "Karate Kid." Those kids were so stinking cool. I eagerly awaited the scenes of "wax on, wax off," the boombox on the beach and of course that last fight scenes. That was followed by "Flashdance" and now I have no doubts why I wasn't allowed to watch it when I was younger. "Greencard" was just as I remembered with the greenhouse scenes and Gerard Depardieu's accent.

I can't wait to pop in "Swiss Family Robinson," I can barely remember the tension between girl and boy and the scene where they fight the invaders. And if there's time left "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" or "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." I feel as lucky as Charlie Bucket, having discovered the golden wrapper.

Courtesy Christmas Warning

2007-12-18T13:59:00.000-07:00

Do Not.... I repeat Do Not attempt to go to the mall for "quick" Christmas shopping on your lunch break. I know, not rocket science but if your logic is similar to mine you might have thought lunch would be easier than after work because everyone will be shopping in th evenings. But the true reality is that those shopping during the week in the middle of the day are retired or disabled. Movement was slow. Decisions were difficult. I just need to get my gift card and go!!!! It was no easy task.
The first inidication was the parking. Parking outside of JC Penny is rarely difficult, but I found myself taking the first spot I could find and then making the long haul inside. The second flag was the line at the first counter I passed, where some of the customers were getting excited that the line was "finally moving." I browsed a short while and then went to a register that had no line. Unfortuanely, while in line, something else caught my eye, while looking at it, someone took my place (I can only blame myself for that move). This gentleman wanted to look at the perfumes...which took an eternity. Do I change registers, schlep off to find another, what if that line is longer? So I wait and wait. She finally returns. No gift cards. She searches and looks and explains all the registers should have them...and then directs me to another register where I wait for the older woman in front of me to return her pajama pants.

The New Kids on the Block

2007-12-17T19:26:00.000-07:00

OMG wouldn't it be like totally awesome if 2 cute, single guys moved into the apartment on the first floor?
I don't know. There's a good chance if they're cute and single they'll be loud, rude and obnoxious.

And let's not forget young. We're talking celebrating his 21st birthday young. It seemed a little too good to be true. They moved in and from the get go, friendly guys, holding doors open, offering a Beehive to their new neighbor. The welcome (and excitement) was short lived. Get togethers until midnight, their apartment door wide open, music blaring.

The pinnacle was a couple of weekends ago when one of the guys turned 21 (my age detection meter, clearly needing repair). We had our own get together for the festival of lights parade that night. As our party ended, there's was just beginning. The front door open. Music blaring. We could hear conversations from their kitchen to ours (thanks to the B&B next door which reflects all kinds of sounds). I have never hear the f-bomb used so frequently in all of my life...and I spend time with some bad dudes.
It wasn't until about 11:30 that C and I watched them (okay, alright we've got nothing better to do but watch from our window, the happenings down below) all pile into a military van. We think we are clear for the evening until one of them shouts, "Jack Quinn's it is!" Shucks. This means these military guys are taking a van to a bar that is literally 3 blocks from here...which also means they'll be returning here....at about 2:00 a.m. Sure enough, as if I've had my own nights out, they returned just as predicted. The van reappeared and dropped the whole lot of them off (12-15?) except somebody has forgotten their key. This means that for the next 30 minutes there are f-bombs galore and lots of doorbell buzzes. We hear the neighbor yell, "come on guys knock it off." There is no knocking off. What to do....call the cops on the new neighbors. Go down in my skivvies and shake my fist at them? Did I mention there were 12-15 of them? I finally throw on my coat and with adrenaline pumping through my body I yell down the stairs to what appears to be a sober party-goer, "unhappy neighbor!" I don't know, it came to me. "This is unacceptable. This is not okay! 15 more minutes and I'm calling the cops!" Nice, way to use the scare tactic. The guy yells to the group -"she's going to call the cops." They shut the door. Hmph. Scare tactic works. . . . then the booming of the base.
It was the longest night. And the older I get, the harder it is to recover from sleepless nights.
C decides on Sunday it must be addressed. We first chat with the other neighbor. She too agrees this is not a frat house and this is not tolerable. The three of us head downstairs to confront the hooligans. I felt like a spinster who found her cause - there will be no loud music or f-bombs here sonny.
The new 21 year old opened the door. He took it all well and explained he had no idea what was going on at the apartment. He was passed out, after getting his teeth knocked out after a fight broke out. Sure enough, his garbled speech and defeated face said plenty.
I'm pleased to say since then, no wild parties and no loud music.
But now I'm on the other side. I'm a killjoy. I'm not going to be invited in for a cold drink... but I am going to get my 8 hours and I suppose that will have to do.

Thanksgiving and Orange Friday

2007-11-27T19:57:00.000-07:00

This Thanksgiving was super chill and just perfect. There was a good turkey dinner, of course, time by the fireplace, some Atari (I may or may not rock Pole Position with my 40,000+ points), and a little reading. Good times.

On Friday, we painted a boring white wall a beautiful rusty orange.

Saturday, some friends came up and I managed to lose at Boggle and Scrabble but did manage to hold my own, eh hem, at Pole Position.

Wine Party

2007-11-27T19:40:00.000-07:00

Christina and I had our second annual wine party. So much fun! We had a big turnout, so naturally lots of wines to try.

My Encounters

2007-11-27T19:16:00.000-07:00

Recently, I went to the Dr's Office for an "annual." It's a dirty word and not really an enjoyable experience. I hear my name called as I wait in the lobby. I hop up, head to the door and waiting for me is an old client. There were some awkward exchanges. I minimize my discomfort as she measures my height, takes my temperature and my weight all the while wondering how I will demand she not be anymore involved in my appointment. She reports she is doing well and I try to recount her compliance. I was the most uncomfortable while she flipped through my medical file. She left to get the Dr and I didn't see her again until the end of my appointment, when she returned with a large needle - to give me a long-over-do tetanus shot. I don't "believe" in Karma, but if I did.....

While walking out of the courthouse a nice enough looking man asked me if he could exit out the employee only doors. I assist him by scanning my card. He's chatting it up on his cell, holds the door for me, finishes his phone call and then thanks me for my help. He then inquires if I will assure that he gets to his car safely. Is he flirting with me? Is he an employee? Is he a defendant who just got out of court for a violent crime? I am a "better-safe-than-sorry" kind of gal and keep things real distant, short, curt. After I shoot him down, he finally says, "do you work at probation? I just started today."
I am a jerk! I am rude! How will I ever meet nice boys if I assume they are all criminals?!

Today, while on my way out for lunch I waited at a crosswalk. Out of the blue a man stands next to me and starts conversation by telling me, "did you hear they think they found Noah's ark?" He proceeds to explains where it was found, how it was recovered from a mudslide and was pushed further down some mountain by a lava flow. Nice enough man (and after my co-worker blunder - see above - I'm working on being a little less defensive) but it was taking me off guard. He talked to me all they way across the street and a good way down the next block. "wow!" "really?!" "huh?" were my responses. I ask him, "is this breaking news today?" I thought maybe he had just seen it on fox news and couldn't wait to dialogue with someone. "No, it's been out for a while." Hmph, no explanation on why he was sharing it with me....today. Perhaps it was an exercise for an Evangelism Explosion class. He plugged a website - maybe it's his own and he wants more hits. I'm not sure... maybe he was an angel and God wanted to remind me of His promise.

The Wedding

2007-11-16T19:54:00.001-07:00

I am pleased to write that the out of state wedding that has consumed me was a smashing success. It was my first role as a maid of honor, MOH, as my bride coined it. I will miss referring to myself as "mo." I have to say it was a lot of work, and I wasn't even around for most of the planning. But, shortly after I arrived on Wednesday until the end of Saturday, I felt like I was earning my keep. I was not prepared for what exactly a full mass would encompass and was a little overwhelmed when the rest of the wedding party sat while myself and the best man stayed with the bride and groom on the stage. It gave "standing beside you at your wedding" some serious meaning. I was close to those vows. There was plenty of discomfort upon realizing I had no program and didn't know what I should be saying, responding or singing. I did a lot of smiling. There was one part where the bride and groom went to a side room to lay a bouquet on the alter of Mary. I was to follow behind them. I felt like a strange chaperon, like they shouldn't be alone until it was all "official." According to 2 of the groomsmen I made a priceless face as I turned back toward the crowd for some sort of direction as to how long we were to hang out in this room - the three of us scratching our heads, trying to figure out when to return. I also did the horribly non-catholic response when the best man blessed me with with a "peace be with you" I replied, "thanks." What a goon! We rode to the church and reception in a pimped out limo. I do love the limo - but always struggle to climb in and out without flashing everyone. I was also responsible for trailing behind the bride, carrying her train. It's a humbling experience... and I had to ignore the photos being taken which I'm sure are not the least bit flattering of me - it wasn't my day. I was nervous about my toast - but feel I did well, and strangely enough, had guests tell me it was one of the better MOH toasts they've heard. It must be the influence of my Toastmaster attending father and I'm sure the drink beforehand didn't hurt. There was a great dance hall and the groom had a big turnout of highschool friends - so the dance floor was packed. I even got to slow dance with the best man, who was gentleman enough to ask me. Totally weird to watch your junior highschool friend get married. You say things like, "when I get married, you're like totally going to be my maid of honor" when you're 12 - but when it's actually happening it's fairly surreal.
I did really well being very happy for them throughout the whole weekend. It wasn't until Sunday morning, while I waited 3 hours at the airport, emotionally and physically exhausted, that I began to feel sorry for myself, for being single, feeling overlooked and somewhat hopeless, and I silently balled as I watched planes land and take off. Very dramatic. No worries... a couple of naps and a layover later and I was mostly recovered. No one deserves love, it is a blessing. Should we all be lucky enough to find it.

To the supervisors

2007-10-20T20:06:00.000-06:00

To the supervisor who came into my office while I was on my lunch break, looking in a small compact to assess the situation of dry skin on my nose after a couple of days of extreme sneezing and running noseyness, I was not picking my nose. I'm afraid the way I jumped when I saw you see me may have indicated guilt and I did not address it at the time for fear it would be more incriminating to stammer an explanation about dry skin while you were asking me an important work-related question. I think it's clear you misunderstood the situation when you later apologized for interrupting me.

To the other supervisor who came into the the seemingly abandoned hallway, I was simply adjusting my undershirt. I'm afraid the frown on your face indicates you thought I may have been doing otherwise. I did not address it at the time for fear it would be more awkward to explain such down the length of the hallway. I will save such adjustments for the semi-privacy of my own office.

Lumberjack junction

2007-10-13T16:38:00.000-06:00

The parents asked for our help with their property north of town. Our mission: clear the land of fallen trees. My personal goal: learn to use a chainsaw. As soon as I saw my dad going to it, I was overwhelmed with the desire to get behind the saw and feel the power. My first couple of trees were awkward, but I got the feel for it and have to say - good times. We spent last Sunday afternoon up there...and most of today. Exhausting work, but somehow good work. There is something about the kind of work you can see progress over the course of hours. I find it particularly fulfilling after a week appointments where one can only conclude, "you can't predict human behavior." That doesn't stack up to a pile of wood, a sawed dead tree, or a cleared forest floor. A little exercise and some fresh mountain air and well....some donuts.

Sunday, I ignorantly brought jeans to wear. My mom said, "are you sure that's what you want to wear up there? Are you sure you don't want some sweatpants?" She returned with a classic pair: teal in color, white drawstring and taper, elastic ankles. I completed the outfit with a flannel shirt with undertones of teal...and orange....and purple. At times, lost in my comfort (let's admit it folks, there was a reason why some of us wore sweatpants out and around...in public. They're comfortable) I would look down to see myself in these sweats and begin to feel slightly ill. Today, I updated my look with a pair of yoga pants. Wider legged, black. And I'm shocked to say it, but the sweatpants are by far the better lumberyard attire. With a tight elasticized ankle, there were no concerns of creepy crawling things making their way up my leg - not so with the yoga pant....it was like an invitation. Also, the sweatpant is made of a good sturdy material. They made it through some intense log dragging. I'm afraid my yoga pants tore after some rough branch encounters.

I'm sure we were quite a sight and can only hope the neighbors will give us the benefit of the doubt and assume we can clean up nicely. Dena - you were missed. We could've used your muscle.

So that's how it works

2007-10-03T20:42:00.000-06:00

As I left the courtroom yesterday, the private defense attorney thanked me...not the response I normally get for my work, as it is typically in opposition of their argument. We rode the elevator down together. He gave a heavy sigh and I made some comment about imagining he's ready to be done with the case, as it has been in and out of court for over a year. "yes, it's the kind of case no attorney wants." "Why's that?" "No one wants to defend a case where you think the guy is innocent."
There was a duh moment for me, followed by, "You prefer to defend guys you know are guilty?!"
His non-chalant response? "Oh no! I'd rather not know either way."

Don'ts

2007-10-01T21:21:00.000-06:00

If I were the photographer for "Glamour" and I toted my camera around, these are the scenes from my weekend travel time that would be printed with black bars over the faces of the offenders:

The woman in the seat next to me who berated her teenager on the phone about applications, previous jobs at Subway and letting Mrs. SoanSo know she was used as a reference, Telling her daughter she cannot hear her and will call back when she lands....only for her to call her daughter back immediately, continue with a new thought and then complain she can't hear her.

The older women in the same row who was clipping her fingernails....in public!....in a small and controlled environment!.....with no where for some of us to run to escape!...clip*clip*clip!

The man at Gate C26 who was playing with his naked toes while he waited to hear if flight 829 would leave on time.

The young woman who whipped out decadently delicious bridal shower treats like quiche, fresh veggies, a cupcake, and cocoa dusted truffles and ate while others watched. Okay....I'm guilty!

My age

2007-09-26T19:48:00.000-06:00

So the other day, in an appointment, one of my probationers mentions he went to a concert.
"Who did you see?" I ask. I have, you know, been active in the music scene and all, lately. He mentions the name of some man... or band I have never heard of. I gave him a blank stare and casually said, "hmph, haven't heard of th-him..." His response? "oh, come on, sure you have.... you're as old as I am...you're what? 41? 42?"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What am I to do with this? Run out and grab some "Timewise" at the next Mary Kay party? Rummage through the anti-aging aisle in the grocery store? Never leave my home....as I'm bound to be in it...alone....for the rest of my life?

I suppose I could let it go and tell myself he's a crazy man and out of his mind, which isn't too far off. Yes, that's what I'll go with.

Lately

2007-09-25T22:29:00.000-06:00

I went to a wedding this weekend and I saw a lot precious friends. Thursday some of us got together for coffee and we chatted I realized I was the only one without any children... I did alot of listening that evening and felt like I am light years behind the others. So good to see each other and hear what we're all up to. We laughed over some memories, shared some of the burdens of life and I thanked God for these friendships with depth.

Here are some shots of the dance floor - nothing like good dancing at a wedding... I may, or may not have broken out in a little bit of a glisten. The ceremony occurred outside where two deer watched nearby and apples fell from a tree. The bride and groom looked great and like they were having a great time... isn't that the ideal?

On Saturday, Vicki and I headed up to the cabin, chilled to some John Denver and then did a little off-roading into the 11-mile canyon. Beautiful!

This week I head to DC for the bridal shower of the century. Here is my bridal shower in a box...complete with homemade bath salts for the guests, which will be wrapped in a chinese take out box with pink rice instead of tissue paper....too cute. I've gotten super crafty for this thing and I have found a new excitement about being creative... it might be time to look into getting that Martha Stewart Living subscription renewed. The bachelorette party will be just as detailed for a Matt-a-thon to tie in the bride and groom's love for running. Our bride will get stickers of her beau, Matt, for each milemarker she completes!!! I even found some glow sticks at the dollar store! DC here I come!

Monolith Festival

2007-09-16T21:18:00.000-06:00

2 whole days of rock n' roll!

S and I bought tickets for the first day, and through some of her connections, got tickets in the second day (the disappointment of not getting the promised VIP passes lasted only a couple of hours).

RedRocks is incredible. I don't need to tell you this, if you've been, but if you've never experienced live music, while sitting in a geological wonder, you haven't lived.

There were an overwhelming 5 stages at this festival. In an over-the-top moment I recreated a spreadsheet to determine which bands were playing when...then S and I did our homework to rank the must-sees. It may or may not have been laminated with tape to protect it from the elements. Even with the preperation, it was really difficult to see it all without missing anything and then, inevitably regretting not catching some band.

Highlights:

Getting super crafty before the festival and making my own "Rock Princess" tank top, thanks to the local craft store and the ease of iron-ons. Now here's to hoping the mustard from my delic hot dog comes out.

Kings of Leon (my weeks of listening to their 3 albums totally payed off, as I recognized all the songs and did my best to sing the lyrics when possible) totally rocked.

Ghostland Observatory was the most fascinating to watch - the skinny jean wearing lead singer, with braided pigtails and curiously feminine moves. I was a total imposter fan and pretended to know the words to their rocking song.

Meeting the rock star of "No More Kings," after missing his show and then affirming to him that he did have a smiley face next to his name on our spreadsheet. Took picture with singer and hope to see it on his website some day.

Realizing during the Cake show, that having not kept up with them since the 90's was totally okay, as they played most of their songs from their "Fashion Nugget" album.

Meeting various people in the biz.

Struggling to understand the crowd's fascination with "The Flaming Lips" until the lead singer came out in a huge bubble and kind of crowd surfed and then sent huge balloons down through the crowd from above.

Living on the edge and sneaking in contraband, to avoid paying steep prices for beverages.

Sitting back, taking in the sun, people watching, the rocks and the rock n' roll.

Porch Cinema

2007-09-12T22:56:00.001-06:00

Summer is coming to an end. That was evident when I learned Starbucks was offering their pumpkin spice latte again. You can't fight against clear signs of fall such as that. I've had a great and busy summer. Here are some of my late summer favorites:

Porch Cinema:

Our apartment is unbearable on the hottest summer days. Even at night, it is roasting. On several occassions (usually Sunday nights) I plugged in some latern lights, the laptap and dragged out my pa-pa-san chair. Ahhhh, a movie on the porch. Perfect. The fresh air, the summer smells and something dramatic on the screen. Only one time the dvd would not play and in a moment of rage and desperation I lugged the entire tv and dvd player.... and it was totally worth it I might add.

Cabin Retreats:

The drive is half the fun, with the perfect scenery and the mountain air. I've taken up reading as a determined hobby and found the cabin the perfect place to sit back and enter another scene, character and storyline.

The Balloon Festival:

I love to watch the balloons lift off. Every early morning that I've done it, it has seemed like a ridiculous idea to get up before the sun, but by the time I have a cup of coffee in my hand, watch the sun rise as balloons take flight....there is simply no better way to spend labor day weekend. I love the bright colors of the balloons, to cheer the ones that make the dip into prospect lake and I love to be inspired to "some day" experience if from a basket, with a bird's eye view.

Men are from Mumsville

2007-09-12T22:44:00.000-06:00

I have just come from a night of home visits with 2 officers. I'm not going to lie.... I thought I might arrive to find not 1 but 2 single officers that might fight for my affections. I arrived to find two "settled" men and no personality. In their defense, they'd worked a full day and this was extra duty.
When I've gone on home visits with a female co-worker, we dish. "So, this guy's done this and this and lives with so and so and you'll never believe what he said this one time." Not so with my two fellas. It was purely logistical with them - "where to next? you got a map on this guy?" No chit chat about life stories or compliance. No one discussed the guy who is dating/living with an older woman (I restrained myself from saying something about Mrs Robinson) and no one chatted about the lady who wanted the scoop on her next door neighbors. I was in anti-process world. It was painful for me. The couple of times I said something (that I thought was hilarious) it totally fell flat. By mid trip I sat silently in the back of the car, listening to the country music and some of their talk about schedules and motorcycles.
Not all was lost; It was a productive night. I found two guys drinking and had the joy of watching them pour out their alcohol; I saw one of my guys shirtless (nice spider tatoo, dude) and a woman came out of a hallway with a back scratcher arched up as if she might use it as a weapon.
Safety is nothing to bulk at, I just wish it came with some dialogue and dish.

Every step you take...

2007-08-13T16:54:00.000-06:00

Last week I had an appointment with a "client." Later in the day, I received a mass emailing explaining that someone leaving our office had stolen property?! The description matched my John Doe. Get out! I went to a supervisor and together we went downstairs, to security. "You think you know the guy." "Yep, sounds like one of mine..."

We were taken down the security hallway and into the surveillance room. It was the ultimate experience for me. I love to see what is on the other side of a door, or how something works...I want the inside scoop on it all.

Oh my lands! The inside scoop is freaking me out! There were countless monitors all with multiples scenes from within and outside the courthouse. My focus was not on my deviant offender, but instead on the numerous occasions I have adjusted myself, and my undergarments in seemingly "empty" hallways. "Oh my goodness, eh hem, I'm feeling very uncomfortable - you guys have cameras everywhere!" "Ahh, you feel that way now, but if you're ever in a situation when you need help....." I wonder how many ankle and eye rolls security has captured. I wonder if anyone saw me fall down those stairs that one time... no one came to my rescue then. I was relieved to find no images of the bathrooms...I know, I know, but you always wonder.

Since my impromptu tour of big brother's looming watch, I find myself a bit more robotic. With very precise moves. And a temptation to smile for the cameras.

Clouds

2007-08-09T13:44:00.000-06:00

...and I would not want to forget to include the delightful time I had in the back seat of the car, on our way back to Colorado, finding things in the clouds. I had the most perfect clouds all weekend. I saw a flying pig, a shoe and Zeus, among other things that I can't remember at this moment. I found it easier to use my imagination after a day in galleries looking at nonsensical pieces or those that stretched my typically logical way of seeing things. These were just pictures from my backseat view....you will not find Zeus in these shots.

Santa Fe

2007-08-09T12:23:00.000-06:00

This weekend I took a mini road trip with 2 friends to Santa Fe. I could've stayed so much longer! -More time for the plaza and the surrounding shops, more time on Canyon Road and in the galleries, more time at the spa, not to mention the recommendations of things to be seen outside the town!

Some of the highlights from my trip:

We arrived late on Friday night to be told there was "no room in the inn." The hotel booted us out and gave us directions to another hotel in town, which did not meet the expectations of fluffy beds and a spacious room. Made the most of it and got a couple of free breakfasts out of it (and hopefully a free night).

Went to the churches in town and saw the "amazing staircase." The church reminded me of the Notre Dame - the kind of place where tourism has taken over any hope of worship or reverence. Perused the plaza, where there was a market with lots of things to want to buy: art, jewelry, and fancy hats.

Went to galleries, one in particular was amazing, with a moving exhibit of historical photographs. http://www.monroegallery.com/showcase/index.cfm (We were complaining of poor treatment while on Canyon Road and then we walked into a gallery where a woman asked if we were artists or if we had a collection of work, or wanted to begin one. Imagine! A collection of beautiful artwork....someday! No offense to Christina, of course, who has contributed to our apartment with some of her great works. )

Went to a FABULOUS spa. We started with a private bath - because we couldn't handle the thought of hanging out (and I mean hanging) in a pool of water with naked strangers - where we all sat modestly in our bathing suits, some talking, praying, singing and some silence. Then we made our way to our treatments. I got an "indo-asian massage." So amazing! Hot oil and a powder mixed to a soft scrub and then an herbal wrap, complete with cucumber eye treatment- I've got to figure out how to makes this a frequent experience in my life. The fact that Schelau was laying in the same room naked was almost unnoticeable until it came time for the rinse off - I'll spare details, but tell you it was hilarious.

Ate some great food to include lavender ice cream, yum!

Went to El Foral, a bar/restaurant, and listened to live music by, possibly, the worst band I have ever heard - but got out on the dance floor and had fun anyway!

Who says we're too old for temporary glitter tattoos?

Teller Times

2007-07-31T21:54:00.000-06:00

This weekend my dearest friend Stephanie and I spent the weekend at the cabin. Every time I take the hour drive up to the mountains and spend time out of town, I question why I don't do it more. I instantly become drowsy once at the cabin and find that naps are a requirement when spending time up there. Steph is a mom of 2 young boys and so, for 3 years now, we plan a weekend where can just be and hang out. This year, mom invited us to join her at the Teller County Pancake breakfast which supports the local volunteer fire department. After breakfast we went on a tour with the historical society. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but was impressed with what I learned.

We toured the old school house, where they taught from the late 1800's until 1960! It was super cute and just what you'd imagine a small town school house to look like.

We toured a Victorian ranch home, complete with stories of ghosts and murders! The woman who lives in the home is a local historian and has even written a book....I walked through her home, in her bathroom. A voyeur's dream come true.

We went on a tour of the local cemetery with the headstones of icons of the time and sad stories of children dying from the numerous diseases.

Some on the tour were out in full dress.

Fortunately I grabbed my camera - it was a great day to take some photos.

Here's Mom & Me and Mom & Steph.

Sleepy Head

2007-07-19T08:56:00.000-06:00

I am so confused this morning. This morning I woke up in the middle of a dream and at this moment, hours later, I am still terribly confused. Did I or did I not take a shower in a garage with a moving door which put me at risk for exposing myself to the co-ed crowd outside? And did I or did I not dig through my bottom drawer of jeans to discover that my younger sister had taken them and now I had nothing to wear? And could this have anything to do with making reservations just yesterday, for a spa in Santa Fe or that I spent time last night with one of my junior high students who was talking about sharing clothes with her sister and not being able to find things that had been borrowed? I’m kind of feeling like the only way to combat this would be to close my eyes for a little bit and try to get some things resolved in my head. That’s not going to happen anytime soon. On my way into the courthouse today, one of the attorneys said, “Wow, you look tired today!” Thanks buddy.

Yee Haw!

2007-07-15T18:11:00.000-06:00

So I love this time of the year....the Pikes Peak or Bust Rodeo strolls into town and for the last couple of years Christina has gotten tickets because of her fabulous job and their affiliation with the rodeo AND she has been kind and generous enough to invite me. Last month they had the street breakfast downtown, on Tejon street. For $5 you get an egg and pancake

breakfast, served up by some of the local army guys, live music and the opportunity to sit on bails of hay. There is a parade (which I missed this year) and a cattle run downtown. I walked out of work the other day and stumbled onto some livestock. It wasn't until I talked to my friend in Seattle that I was reminded it isn't everywhere that herds of cattle are sent down city streets.

My love for rodeos started a couple years back when my dad invited me to join him at the Western Stock Show (which is in Denver every Martin Luther King Jr Day weekend). We check out the livestock and the goods and we go to the rodeo. That year, we just happened to get great seats near where the buckin' broncos and bulls are .... it was perfect and close to all the action. It's a tradition now, and I look forward to it.

I love the romantic idealized cowboy lifestyle, the work-with-your-hands mentality and grass roots feel of it all. The cowboys themselves aren't bad to look at either and there is something about watching a man with a well-trained herder dog, or prize winning bull, or impressive riding abilities that is attractive.

This year mom and dad joined us. The VIP food was great, and the weather (despite threats of rain) was perfect.

5K Princess Warriors

2007-07-10T22:22:00.000-06:00

Here we are week #1. (from left: Schelau, Jana)

Woohoo! I did it! We did it! 5 weeks. In a row. 5 kilometers.

Insert tune from My Fair Lady: "They said he couldn't do it but he did it, he did it. They said he couldn't do it but indeed he did!"

The first week, a whole 5 weeks ago, I began with fear - what if it is horrible? Impossible? or What if I don't finish?
The fifth week, on this very night, I began with fear - what if it is horrible? Impossible? or What if I don't make it?

Pasha! It was totally not horrible and we totally made it!

I'll admit the t-shirt ceremony was a little anti-climatical - there were a lot recipients and by the time the T's rolled around, it was old news. There also wasn't a group photo, and I'm not ashamed to say I was looking forward to that. BUT! I did receive my official shirt - a true sign that I did it! Let me just point out (and toot my own horn) that I, a non-runner, at times lazy, and not a goal setter put on game face every Tuesday for 5 weeks and ran 5 kilometers each week...in a row! I am going to say it: I am a princess warrior.

And so I would like to thank:
Jack Quinn's - for the 5k, of course. All the runners who ran by my apartment
challenging me during my denial stage. Bristol Brewing, who makes such a darned good beer that a cold Beehive is totally worth the effort. Apple for creating the ipod - which not only gave me the beats but a handy little stopwatch, as well. All the artists who inspired me to climb the hill - you know who you are. (let us not forget the generous ex-boyfriend who gave the gift of the ipod and the initial anger drive to run). My friends Sarah and Vicki, who have been avid runners for quite some time and were an inspiration. My running (read: jogging) partner Schelau - I wouldn't have done it if I didn't have someone to do it with; thank you for your commitment despite rain, discomfort and pain, and for the knuckle bumps ~ which meant everything to me.

See you all again next week. I'll be the chick in the leprechaun jersey working on a runner's high.

Independance Day

2007-07-09T13:53:00.000-06:00

I love days off in the summer. I wish there were more. I know I complained about having a day off in the middle of the week, and I felt the pangs of exhaustion on Thursday but...still a day off and that, my friends is a beautiful thing. I started the day early with Christina and Schelau. We had a delic breakfast at Adams Mountain Cafe. Then, we went on a hike: Section 16. Phew! If that ain't mountain hiking, I don't know what is. The views are so beautiful that it is worth every strain and bead of sweat.

Our tough hike was followed by some hot dogs and potato chips, true 4th of July style. Although there was no propane, so the dogs were broiled. Then, we sat in the hot tub. Great fun and the perfect followup from the hike. By evening we headed down to Manitou Springs and watched the fireworks. It was a nice change from the usual Memorial Park crowd and we were able to chill out and get comfortable on the sidewalk. The excitement really came when a drunken motorcyclist whizzed out in front of me and then got so upset at me that he stopped in the middle of traffic (which required a freakish slam on the brakes). He then yelled at me and finally veered off the road. Geesh!

Anyway, God bless America!

2007-07-09T13:27:00.000-06:00

If you recall, I was recently informed that I had 3 cavities. I set my appointment to get them all filled at once. That way there's just one horrible experience associated with stress and pain, instead of multiple visits. I arrived to my appointment and was whisked away to my chair and the tech explained, as she handed me a remote, that I could watch whatever I'd like and to get comfortable. TV? cool! In addition to the stress of dentist drama, I was now having a difficult time deciding what I would watch during this process. I had all the choices of cable, none the less. Nothing I'd really want to see, as I was sure to be distracted; I didn't want to be the cliche chick, tuning in to the "Wedding Story," and nothing I could watch at home. "Dirty Jobs" was the winner. I've only seen a couple episodes and it's one of those shows that makes me want to get cable. I watched for a bit and the assistant made a comment about my choice. She's also a fan of the show. My dentist is running behind so I have plenty of time to get comfortable...and more nervous. "Dirty Jobs" is not show enough to completely distract me from why I'm here.

Finally, he comes in and we begin the process. He too points out that so many of his patients choose "educational" shows. The experience begins with two nasty numbing shots and lots of drilling.

TV has crept into our lives everywhere. It is no longer reserved for family time in the den. Kids have their own tvs in their rooms, they are strapped to seats in cars and minivans, even at restaurants and the bars conversation competes with whats on the boob tube, not to mention, catching flicks on cell phones and ipods. And it is no different at the dentist's office. While Dr. Drill Bit was grinding at my teeth, I could see the tech dazed by the images on the screen. And while the tech held the light on my tooth (to harden the filling) my dentist turned his attention to the dirty job on screen. I found myself getting super agitated. I couldn't even see the tv, much less care to watch it. I felt very compelled to pay attention with what was going on in my mouth...too bad my professionals weren't. If I could have reached the remote, I would have shut it off immediately and scolded something reminiscent of my mother, "No more tv until you've done your chores!"

Penguin Shuffle

2007-06-18T13:11:00.000-06:00

Sarah, my dear friend, sent me some of her suits. She's crossed over to the other side....the skinny side. She was generous to ship a bunch of her nice threads (that now hang off her skinny body) all the way from DC. Yes! That shirt I wore that one time I visited. Alright! A cute black skirt suit. Woohoo! A cute jean skirt. I had the some of the goods dry cleaned this weekend and threw on the black skirt suit this morning. Cute. And sexy.

It wasn't until late this morning that I discovered the slit in the back of the skirt. I have discovered that a good portion of my thigh is exposed every step I take. I will avoid stairs and work on my penguin shuffle the rest of the afternoon.

Runner's High

2007-06-14T10:23:00.000-06:00

The dream started approximately 1 year ago. C and I saw a group of them running by the apartment, consistently on Tuesday nights. Then, a friend explained, “Jack Quinn’s has a running club on Tuesday nights – it’s a 5K, and after 5 runs, you get a shirt. Wanna do it with me?” Chyeah right, I hadn’t run in awhile and had only completed one 5K in my life and it was grueling. I wasn’t going to try to keep up with the skinny thing. “Mmmmm, I’ll probably need to do some training.” So, I avoided the run, although, joined her for the beer afterwards, and a couple of times, would holler and whoop for her from my balcony as she and her sister ran by. For a year I saw the runners and told myself someday…
I am proud to say that someday was this Tuesday. After time on the treadmill and out on Monument Creek, I was ready. Not fast, mind you, but ready. S and I did a trial jog on Saturday. Not too bad. The hill on Uintah is cruel, but aside from that, totally doable. Tuesday came with rain and thunder and perfect excuses to stay inside and on my butt. Instead, I dusted off a rain parka and laced up. S and I are not ashamed to use stimulants, so we stopped at Starbucks for an espresso on the way down to Jack's. The place was crowded and I'm sure I looked green non-runner, with fear in my eyes. Everyone had intense and expensive running gear, which made my cotton shorts seem infantile. S's friend joined us and we all took it slow and easy. The rain in the face was refreshing and exciting - such an extreme first time! I was most excited when I passed my aparment. I could see the old me peering over from the balcony at the new me running the trail. The celebration was at the city auditorium with lots of people and a whole running culture. I'm not sure where we came in but the point is we came in, we finished. Speed? That's for kids, I'm talking heart-healthy over here. My goal is to run the next 4 weeks to get a shirt and I like to think by the end of the summer, I might be up for something extreme, like a 1oK!

Tina Time

2007-06-13T09:17:00.000-06:00

Sunday, after the “closure and clarification” break up conversation, while my heart was tender and my emotions on the edge of busting out…. I turned on my car. The radio came on, “who needs a heart when a heart can be broken? What’s love got to do? Got to do with it?” That’s right, Tina to the rescue.

Oh my! It's so good to see you!

2007-06-08T13:06:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I had Dunkin’ Donuts. Not one donut but two because you can justify things like that after a sudden and unexpected heart break and after learning you have not 1, not 2, but 3 cavities. I went to the dentist after at least (don’t judge me) 2 years without a cleaning or check up. I didn’t have dental coverage. Two of the cavities had been previously filled; I say that so you don’t think less of me. (Interestingly enough, I expected some cavities – I don’t have great teeth and I had specifically prayed that I would not have more than 3, because I would be devastated. I need to pray bigger next time, next time I pray for 0 cavities.) Anyway, I hadn’t had breakfast and was advised to eat on the side where they didn’t paint my teeth with a sensodyne-type ointment (did I mention I have receding gums – self-induced: I don’t know the power behind my left arm). I’ve been wanting donuts for awhile and they were perfect for the task. It’s one of those things I get in my head and nothing will satiate the desire except for just that, a donut. I was passing Dunkin’ anyway; it was just what I “needed.”
I entered and after being overwhelmed by all of the delicious looking sugar-bombs, I noticed the table of elders. There was a whole group of cute white-haired ladies, all in cotton pants and striped or flowered shirts. There were a few men in the mix, but definitely out numbered. The older couple who had come in behind me went over to greet the table. One of the women (W1) was so excited to see this pair, she squealed and hugged the woman (W2). I thought to myself, “Ahh, kindred souls. I bet it’s been awhile since they’ve seen each other. Maybe W1 has been in the hospital or unable to make their donut dates. Look at how excited they both are. Sweet. Thank goodness for my girlfriends, maybe we’ll be like that someday.”
W2 came over to her husband in line and said, “That lady over there knows us, knows me and everything about me. I don’t know who she is. I have no idea who she is!” She was baffled.
It was funny – maybe slightly sad because they’re older and you never know if confusion could be dementia, but all that aside… It was humorous.

Craig!

2007-05-22T14:57:00.000-06:00

I need a vacuum. We tried to go cheap, so we bought one of those low-end vacuums at Target. It seemed logical, we only have one rug. But, as we have previously discovered, you get what you pay for. It doesn't have any power. No suck. It's time to make an investment. "Why don't you try Craig's list?" suggested C. And so today, after being sucked into the vortex that is the internet (against my will, of course), I wandered over to see what Craig had to offer. After some time looking for a heavy duty vacuum (which isn't any fun at all because a vacuum is not the kind of thing anyone really wants to spend money on), I decided to browse other categories. "Beauty" seemed a good place to check out - you never know when you might stumble on a discounted pedicure. This is what I found....

I'm a normal guy, I like to dress as a woman & would love to go out on the town. I've no idea on how to style my wig, and I'm so so on my makeup skills. I'm not a stalker or crazy person, but would love the help.

Education in the hallways

2007-05-11T14:29:00.000-06:00

His name was Mr. Daumaurier. He was my junior high school English teacher who wore a jerry curl and a navy blue lab coat. He would use words like "malarkey" and "outlandish." The popular guys in school always made fun of him and most days he would humor back, but some days he would respond in complete and blatant anger. I wondered how he made his way to some small DOD junior high, teaching disrespectful 13 year olds. During passing times, he would stand at the top of the stairs and direct the traffic. I remember being directed, "to the right, to the right, girl, don't you know how to walk?" He would guide us all, confused preteens, meandering the stairs in chaos, "stay to the right!" It made sense once I got it. If everyone always stays to the right, then we can be going in opposite directions and pass without the awkward collision.
I think about it often. I think about it a lot here at work. Time after time, while escorting a probationer down the hallway there is complete chaos if they encounter someone else coming toward us in the hallway. They don't know what to do. It is such a long hallway and can be quite an obstacle course if I'm following someone who doesn't know they can just stay to the right and plow right through.
Perhaps Mr. Daumaurier taught me more than how to maneuver through a crowded stairwell, I think he taught me about social norms, expectations and order.

Flamenco

2007-05-08T09:56:00.000-06:00

Last Friday night, a friend and I went to Denver's art district for the First Friday Art Walk. http://www.artdistrictonsantafe.com/calendar.php
It was perfectly cultural! Santa Fe is lined with fun, strange, creative and unique galleries. We started at one end and never did make it to the other end before the night was over. I was definitely in a big city - I heard foreign languages, saw alternative lifestyles and chic style (whether cool frames for glasses, funky hair, or wild dress). We all milled about, walking into a gallery seeing what there was to see, helping ourselves to a glass of wine, and then on to the next. Obviously, some art was more captivating than others. One of the first galleries had photography that was most bizarre - maybe it was supposed to impact me morally - pictures of dirt with model homes made out of cardboard.... I didn't get it. The next had beautiful oil paintings - lots of color with wild brush strokes....unfortunately, it reminded me of hotel art. I was completely delighted to walk into a studio where a young female does caricatures and creates little figurines. For instance, she had the coolest little Nacho Libre dude and she also does wedding cake toppers. She showed me original photographs of a cute couple that she had just finished a cake topper for. So fun!

We entered a building - not much to look at on the outside, but there were hallways that lead to lots of little galleries... I could hear fun music coming from one of the shops and we found our way inside. The room was dark and full of spectators. There was a guitar player, a percussion man and a hand-clapper. They were jamming out, and to their music, flamingo dancers showed their stuff. I drank some sangria as they danced. I could have stayed there all night and watched their feet moving quickly on the wooden floor. The two women and one man danced with stiff upper bodies and wild feet. It reminded me of a scene from "Strictly Ballroom," one of C's most favorite movies. The scene has the main characters dancing in the back of an old house, on an old wooden patio, as they dance a train rolls by on the tracks next to the house. It was their tempo and rhythm I was most impressed with. So much fun to watch. If it was all I had seen that evening I would've been content.

We went into a photography studio and saw beautiful places in Colorado I haven't even seen yet. It inspired me, not only to bring out my camera more often, but to travel around and see more of this breathtaking state.

We walked around actual studios, some felt like living rooms with music and couches, some felt sterile with paintbrushes and canvas. There was one that was popular with the younger viewers; The artist integrated wildlife with fun splashes of color and stenciled designs, very now, you know.

I left feeling worldly, in the cultural sense, appreciative of creativity and how differently it is expressed by people.

Singing in the rain

2007-05-02T10:46:00.000-06:00

Today is perfect! It is gloomy and rainy, but in a romantic kind of way. Not too cold and the air wet enough to drink in. There are just not enough of these days here in Colorado. If I had my way, it would be a day like today, that I would call in sick, stand outside in my raincoat and take it all in - maybe go for a jog or walk and appreciate the way the grass looks extra green when it's wet, or the shimmer on the wet pavement.
I started today with a stop at Starbucks - every rainy day a bit better with a cup of warm coffee. On my way back to my wet car (why did I think it was a good idea to take off the windows so early in the warm season?!) I saw an earth worm on the sidewalk. Shewp - I was instantly sucked back into my childhood. When we lived in Nebraska, there was a whole creepy crawly world in our back yard. I remember playing with earthworms -they were so much fun! Slick and squirmy, with no fear of stingers, teeth or pinchers. The only thing better than earthworms were rollie pollies. Well, those and fireflies, but there was that whole desire to capture fireflies and unintentionally killing them in the mason jar during the night, only to discover the creatures lying on the bottom looking sadly life and light less in the morning. While delighted to see the earthworm, I had no desire to pick him up and play with him today.
The rain also reminds me of living in a huge house on Nevada Avenue with my dear friend R. There was a crazy rainstorm that lasted for days. Water filled up the drain hole outside our basement apartment door and water seeped into her bedroom. To avoid water pouring in through the bottom of our front door, we suited up and headed out. We took buckets, filled them up and moved the water from our stairwell. We used our chalkboard to keep track of the number of buckets we lugged up our stairs and above ground. Despite the drama of the situation, we had a blast, jumped in puddles and laughed! Not something I have to be concerned with now, on the third floor.
The only thing I did not like about today was my walk into work...with my green umbrella.

Downtown Livin'

2007-04-30T16:25:00.000-06:00

Last night C and I met the parents downtown. It was fairly early, Sunday night on Tejon Street. We were standing outside when they came, a whole gang of guys on bikes. They looked rough and circled around the street. One guy went down the street backwards, showing his mad skills, another one cruised the block on one wheel. They weren't wearing helmets or protecitve gear, just wife-beaters. They weren't terrible scarey, but kind of loud and I found myself clutching my bag a bit tighter. C and I were walking back home when I could hear them coming behind us - they were traveling the wrong way down Tejon, and on the sidewalk, which is against the law. C darted to the side of a restaurant to read the menu, which was a perfect diversion to get out of their way without looking scared. They passed us without incident and then...kept pedaling down the street.
What causes a man to desire to ride a bike in a pack with his dawgs? Do they all have revoked licenses? Can't afford real wheels? Like to feel the cool breeze of the evening air on their face? Why are the bikes so little? Is it supposed to emphasize their manliness? I don't get it.

Please not me

2007-04-20T13:23:00.000-06:00

Today I went to a fashion show.... don't be too impressed. It was a work fashion show. Some of my co-workers were invited to be a part of it. I thought it would be entertaining to watch them strut their stuff down the runway. They've been joking about it for weeks. One of the guys has a bet; he gets $5 for every hip thrust he accomplishes on the runway. It was a forum for the courthouse to show appropriate vs inappropriate work attire. I arrived to find a lighted walk way. An emcee rattled off the do's and dont's of the productions, but the sound quality was bad and I was left to wonder whether or not they were encouraging the mini-skirt and pink pumps or whether they were frowning upon the exposed bra straps and, in one case, a butt crack.
I suppose it was all in good fun - but it was the kind of work event that compares to a drunken Christmas party - except everyone was sober today. My judge - the judge that I stand before on a regular basis, nervous that he will find fault in me because of some unruly probationer, stripped down to a wife beater and Timberlands, complete with a large gold chained $ replica .
All of the attendees received raffle tickets. I took one and shoved it in my pocket. I don't win raffles. At the end of the show they explained that had gifts to the raffle card winners. I lean over to my friend, "I always hope they don't call my number - I'd rather not win, than have to go up there to collect a prize." "oh," she says, "that's a lucky number."
And so there I sat, through bouquets of flowers, jewelry, and a gift card to Wal-Mart...."please not me, please not me, please not me."
"And finally, a gift card to the dress barn!"
I lean over to my friend, "I've never been there, I have a problem with the name, makes it feel gross."
"the raffle ticket # is: 475125"
I look down at my ticket in unbelief... "please not me, please not me, oh shoot that's me!"
My friend leans over, "that's you."
I hopped up and did a fake - oh yeah-I won something-I'm so excited-the dress barn!-face and briskly walked down the very runway I snickered at. I felt my face get bright red.
I hate winning. Strange really - I feel the same way about calling a radio station for concert tickets and having to shout the call letters. I won Dave Matthews tickets once and they made me repeat my excited, "I can't believe I won - thank 99.9!" because the first couple of times weren't excited enough.
I also feel this way about fishing. The whole while secretly hoping I will never feel a tug on my line and have to deal with reeling it in and grabbing the fish and feeling bad about it being hooked despite what they say about no nerves and no pain.
I'd much rather wish I had won or caught a fish and leave the same way I came.
I don't know how much the gift card is for... maybe a free something-or-another will change my mind about the barn.

The Climb

2007-04-13T09:43:00.000-06:00

I was recently at the gym. It's been awhile - I hate that I make progress on muscles and better time on the treadmill, and with a couple of terrible weeks it's back to square one. I've been sick this last week, a cough, perfect reason to roll over when the alarm goes off.
So, I'm on Tread walking briskly, so as to avoid an embarrassing lost lung episode, when I notice a skinny armed woman on the stairs. I can never do the stairs because I get uncoordinated. One wrong move and doom. I noticed her skinny arms because I want skinny arms. Don't we always notice that in other people? But a second look at her and I noticed her arms weren't just skinny, they were bony. The more I watched her the more concerned I became. I noticed her tiny thin legs and her bony shoulders. It wasn't until she got off the stairs, over to the wall, where she put her head between her legs, that I realized she was text book anorexic. My heart felt for her as she looked at herself in the mirror. How did she see herself? Did she notice her bony frame when she saw her reflection - or were there flaws and flabby skin; did her face look too round? What was more concerning was that after her short break she got back on the stair machine... and kept climbing. I prayed for her, that God would comfort her and her quest and that He would help her see her beauty.

I felt kind of ashamed for my time with Tread - I wonder if I'd be at risk for being like her, if only I was more self-disciplined. Exercise is good for the body, mental health and mind, but when it comes down to it, my motivations are the same as skinny-armed chick, the desire to look in the mirror and see something else.

Bargain Bin

2007-04-10T09:01:00.000-06:00

I love to find a deal and cut corners where I can. Because of this, I am rather fond of the dollar store. Decorations for parties, dish towels, seasonal decorations, gag gifts, car protectant, and gift bags all at the dollar store....for a dollar. I was rather excited when Target started their own dollar bin. Random, fun, junk for cheap (although, may it be recognized, that the $1 bin is now a $2.50 bin - inflation?).
Before my big trip to London, I stopped at the Target bargain bins to find a whole travel theme. I bought some travel pouches, perfect for organizing, and a fun green umbrella. Kelly green, big fan lately, and perfect for the trip. I had been looking around for a deal and this was the best bargain by far. Unfortunately, I only had one occassion to pull it out on the trip.
This morning the weather man said there may be light showers today. I grabbed my umbrella on my way out the door. As I walked down my front steps I felt a light drizzle - "yea, it's spring showers!" Within the few short blocks to my work, the sprinkle had become a downpour - the sky gray and wind blowing. Ugh - I hate parking so far from the building. I pull out my umbrella and thank the Lord for blessing me with remembering to grab it; I spent a good chunk of time on my hair today.
I head out into the rain. Aye aye aye, it's really coming down. Before I can cross my first intersection, my umbrella blows over and is now only a large sculpture to the sky instead of a water protectant. I spend most of my walk trying to hold on the the wings of the canopy to keep it from blowing up. It was hilarious. I attempted to lean into the wind and hold on to the umbrella, along with all the other stuff I had in my hands. It is a fight. I started to get the giggles, which went into a full out loud laugh. It was such a struggle. I gingerly crossed the large intersection, trying not to let my laugh get the best of me, and noticed the lights on in the courthouse, I can only imagine what I looked like to the dry people inside. As I approaced the building, while still cracking up, a woman pointed out the shamble of an umbrella I was holding, turned up in opposing directions. "So much for the dollar bins," I explain. You get what you pay for.

The Market Price of Rubbies has plummeted

2007-03-26T11:05:00.000-06:00

The Kaiser Chiefs were sure to be a cool authentic brit boy band - rock band, of course, none of this mushy ballad stuff. We saw their poster in numerous tube stops. While in O'Neill's, a song came on and everyone started to sing along. "Ruby Ruby Ruby Ruby!"
"Who is this?" we ask our new friend, James (who cannot believe he is standing in the presence of 2 american, christian, republicans - he is so in awe he cannot stop bringing up politics despite S reminding him it is rude).
"It's the Kaiser Chiefs!"
The KC were played in between The Killers and Keane, everyone singing along...I conclude they must be a rocking band.
While on Regent Street on St. Patrick's Day, we stop in HMV, the music store. We stroll through the aisles and see KC on display. We attempt to listen to their cd, but the machine seems to be broken. "This will be a fun souvenir!" Despite the fact that music is always so expensive in Europe and particularly the dollar is so weak, we decide we will both purchase this cd we are bound to love. Then we will be not only be world wide travelers, but savvy music scouts, on the cutting edge. I think, once converted, this gem was $22.00. "As long as I never see it on sale at Target for, like, $9.99. Ha ha."
Once home, we have both torn through the packaging and listened to the music long enough to acknowledge not the best we've ever heard. I decide I'm fond of tracks 1,5,7 - still a fun memory, I imagine the tube posters and the sing along at the pub. "Ruby, Ruby, Ruby" is a catchy tune. S and I sing it out at various times while waiting for our photos to print out.
Last night I get a voicemail from savvy music scout S. "You'll never believe what I saw in the Target ad today.... the Kaiser Chiefs cd is available at Target for a mere $7.99."

Mind the Gap

2007-03-23T16:23:00.000-06:00

I have returned from my travels. Came back late Wednesday night with plans to sleep in and then go in to work for a bit. I woke up at 8:00 am and couldn't go back to sleep. I got out of bed and unpacked, then walked to work. Seemed asinine to drive to a place at a distance where this week prior I would've been relieved by the brevity of it. The sun was shining and I could hear the birds chirping. Silent almost. Tejon street felt incredibly vacant and quiet. There was a calm to it that I enjoyed after the hustle and bustle of London, but there was also a void of excitement, people, distractions and the unknown around the corner. Things felt better with a coffee and danish in my hand.

So here are some excerpts from my travel journal:
We travel to St Paul's Cathedral for evensong. We get there early enough to be invited to sit in the choir area and get an inside view of the beautiful mosaics. The service is moving - the men and boy's choirs sing Psalm 107- about how God continues to save his people from their distresses. I do a fine job of standing, kneeling and sitting when I am supposed to. The boys in the choir have white collars on their robes. I wonder what these angelic voices are like outside of this scene. Are their massive tryouts? Did their mothers prod them to be choir boys? Or did they desire it? Their voices echo through the cathedral...breathtaking.

First stop, Westminster tube stop. We cross the bridge and go to the London Eye (a ferris wheel with a bird's eye view of the city). The lines aren't bad and we get to ride in a capsule with just 6 other people. The views are beautiful and we take pictures. All was well until I realized I had lost my nose ring while blowing my nose! S and I looked around and eventually the kind passengers helped. So there we were on the ferris wheel with a beautiful view of the city hunched over, looking for a diamond I wear in my nose. I was so embarrassed. No luck - so sad. ( I do later fine it in my bag and am so delighted.) When we get off the wheel we can't resist the smell of fresh waffles and grab one, eat it on the way to Westminster. We arrive at Westminster too late...again. It seems I will only see the outside of this beautiful church. We decide it is time to eat and look for the pub we had our drinks at last night. After some wandering I am defeated and we settle for the Westminster Arms. We head to the cellar-like basement and order fish n' chips ~ it arrives with scales... not impressed but the beer helps it go down.

We stop at Pub and order Bailey's (in honor of St Pat's day). What we get is a shot of something (I suspect whiskey) with Bailey's on top ~ it goes down too smoothly. There is a man impressing his friends and a lady onlooker with his magic tricks. I am behind him and can see as he flips his magical metro card behind his fingers. His friend draws our attention to the talents of his mate. I admit I have seen the secret. He does another trick for us with a coin. As we ooh and ahh on our way out, S encourages him, "You've made our evening...magical."

It begins to rain, maybe snow, while we are inside. Fortunately, the sun come back out and we are able to stroll through the park (Kensington Gardens). We find the children's park and enter, despite the sign that advises adults without children are not permitted. A ship, ocean sounds, treehouse fortress - oh to be young with an imagination. Near the exit is an old oak tree with little toys in its crevices -gnomes, mice, little people. Fanciful. We pass the Round Pond and the clouds are rolling in. We get to the Albert Memorial - a huge statue. Gold. Blue sky. Clouds. We meet Steve and James, we take photos for each other. Another 2 from California. They tell us about a cool club near Piccadilly "maybe we'll see you there." Right. The first of rain and I pull out my green umbrella.

We are famished and decide to grab brunch across the street at Paul's bakery. We both get sandwiches, share a salad and an apple tart. Tart it is. We sit at the only table in the corner and watch as the business men and women come in and out for lunch. Many are couples. What a life, to pop out for lunch, down the cobblestone street to Paul's for a take-away brie sandwich. If I lived here, could I afford one of Paul's sandwiches?

Next stop: the United States Embassy. We almost miss the large American flag hanging from the top of the building. We walk through a small park - Roosevelt memorial. There is construction and I manage to choose the path to the employee entrance: rejection. Around to the otherside... to find a long line that does not move. We are outside for at least 1 hour - freezing! Snow was expected today. While I can be thankful there is no snow, I am sure it is cold enough to snow. Miserable. The security guard uses his position to chat it up with the ladies in line - bounceresque-like. We finally get inside. Wait in line and explain our anti-climatic story and are directed to fill out paperwork.
Name: /Address: /Employer: /What happened to your passport?: Oh yes, this again. Um, they were just gone. /Parent's birthdates: /Parent's birthplaces
S and I get into giggles as we admit that we are rusty on some of our vitals. We are sure we will get the kabash on a shiny new passport. Perhaps they'll pull the alarm: Impostors!
Next: photo shoot in passport photo booth. I get to take 3 pictures and none are worth keeping, by the way. We laugh and laugh. A girl comes up and asks accusingly, "Is this for fun or for passport photos?" Yeah, well, maybe both.

After dinner we order chai and thumb through the papers. Every M-F, beginning in the afternoon, workers stand outside the tube stations and beg you to take the paper. The London Lite and The London Paper have the latest star news, along with sports, other entertainment and news. During rush hours everyone is reading a paper and many leave theirs behind. Luke explains the calibre of journalism is terrible - he refuses to read them. I've grown to love the declarations of love only available in the The London paper: Gorgeous travel advisor at St Pancras station. There are only so many tickets a man can buy. I want to take that gorgeous smile for a drink. ~ To the girl in the purple coat with the beautiful dark almond-shaped eyes and long dark hair, who sat opposite me on the Tube from Wood Green to Leicester Square on 17 February. You were reading, but out eyes met once or twice and I wished I had said hello. Get in touch.

London Bridge Falling Down

2007-03-19T07:10:00.000-06:00

Thought I'd write something quick. Currently sitting at an internet cafe, which is a strange way to spend time in a foreign country - with new things around every corner. We are here, however, because.... we have lost (or were they stolen) our passports. There are, indeed, signs everywhere warning of such dangers - but you never really think it will happen to you... like dysentery. Sometime between one beer or the next at the "Nags Head" pub they were missing. This morning was the struggle to figure out where to begin the process - then to the scene of the crime, then to the police station to file a report and now to the U.S. Embassy.... it's a shame, as we had plans to see the British Museum and have tea this afternoon.
Aside from today's drama, we've been keeping busy seeing this and that - although we have a terrible habit of making to our destination just as it is closing. So much to be distracted by here. People watching is plentiful and I find my brain constantly working at reading signs and analyzing style, language, sights - almost stimulation overload. There are so many people here - that, I love. Today I was on a "lift" leaving the Covent Garden tube station and we (all strangers) were packed so tightly - it got me thinking about space boundaries and how long I've been living with no touch/physical invasion unless invited.
Anyway, so many other things I've noticed....but I've got some political business to take care of.

iLike

2007-03-09T08:30:00.000-07:00

My mother gave me an iPod for Christmas. She won it from a drawing (I think) at On The Border. It is a shuffle, kind of small and simple. A generous gift that I knew I would enjoy. The hurdle was getting music onto it. We have an archaic laptop at home, it does most jobs, but has old software. My iPod required a visit to mom and dad's and the request to download the program on their computer and the expectation that anytime I want more or different music I will be calling on them. The process took awhile. Download the program. Figure out how to use it. Figure what songs were worthy of a purchase. It was quite an ordeal and a few hours of my life. I practiced extreme self-control and only bought 3 songs to download - the rest from cds I own.

My purchased playlist:

Maneater by Nelly Fertado

I See You Baby by Groove Armada

Would You Go with Me by Josh Turner

I love my iPod. I totally take back all those things I said about it being an expensive exscuse for a walkman. And let me tell you, there is nothing like climbing on to a treadmill and jogging to "I See You Baby." So much fun! Sure, I'll go another 4 minutes - can't stop in the middle of this number. I stepped outside for some fresh air on my lunch break yesterday and thought I'd listen to some of my tunes. I'm sure there was a hop in my step - okay, a strut, "Maneater, make you work hard, Make you spend hard, Make you want all, all of her love..."

It is the ultimate in having a soundtrack of my life.

I've got to figure out how not to sing/hum/grunt along with the music. I definitely don't want to be THAT chick.

Con-sole-lation

2007-03-03T21:19:00.000-07:00

I am preparing for my big trip to London. I get so excited to travel. It is great to go to a place where I don't know where anything is. Despite the work, and at times confusion, there is a great sense of accomplishment in finding your hotel room, that restaurant you heard about, or the museum on the list of to-dos. It is so different from life here, in Colorado Springs, where my biggest challenge is remembering the difference between Stetson Hills and Barnes and all of the cul-de-sacs beyond the Powers boundary.
Today my travel partner and I met over coffee and did some trip planning. Afterward, we headed to DSW the "shoe warehouse." The shoe store with literally hundreds of shoes. First stop, clearance rack... I find a pair of lime green shoes, and while they're comfortable I know their uniqueness will wear out sooner than their soles. I search through trendy tennis shoesish styles...I try some on. I am wearing the wrong socks. Maybe my toes have gotten fat or swollen. My ankles are tiny and won't keep the darned things on. It is a fruitless search. There is something disturbing about sitting in a shoe warehouse, surrounded with aisles of footwear and coming to the conclusion, " I have nothing to work with here!" I have 11 days to find a trendy pair of comfortable, flat-foot-supporting, ideally black walking shoes. Oh the pressure.
Which leads me to the wardrobe I need to be the perfect hip traveler, and accessories, and a bag, and hat and what-if-the-sun-shines-sunglasses... and...
I keep reminding myself that money I spend here in preparation is money I will not have when I am there. It is little consolation.